Royally screwed: Mr Markle’s earnest display of social suicide

This morning, we discovered that Meghan Markle’s father will choose to not attend the Royal wedding. Don’t show weakness in front of the in-laws, Thomas!



The news that Meghan Markle’s father will no longer walk her down the aisle is unfortunate. It also has a very familiar ring to it, as Pa’s exit smacks of doing something we all have done: buckling to the ways of the stuffy in-laws.



Now, on the surface of things, you’d think that a royal scandal would ingratiate himself further into the ranks of the family, considering their history, but no. This issue swirls around one of first impression, the only currency the stiffest of lips pay any value to. Due to reports, Mr Markle was scheduled to meet not only Prince Harry, but also both of Harry’s grandparents this week. Well, I never. British fiction is rich with examples of the lower class clashing with the stuffery, and while hilarity may ensue on the streets of Keeping up Appearances, Thomas Markle might be now seen by some as the Onslow to Elizabeth’s bucket woman.




Now, I’m working on the avenues of assumption here, but you’d have to think the lesser royals, the social climbing type, those looking to find any problem with the union are already practising clicking their tongues and/or rolling their eyes for the big day. I’m afraid you won’t find any tailors in here, Thomas. Chortle. You do have to feel bad for him, not just in committing the crime of allowing someone to take your photo, and missing your daughter’s wedding because of it; the real challenge is the days after. From that date, there are going to be many just like it, many more very subtle navigations of upper-class toffery, one he’ll have to traipse through with the negative assumptions solidified. There’s the Duchess’ questionable oaf of a father. Thomas is very much like us. He has a trade, and is very good at it. He is used to both working for a living, and not doing so in the unnatural spotlight.

I, for one, a scuttling commoner, hope that he’s not too badly burned by what’s expected of him.

The greatest fictional parallel I can find is Eliza Doolittle’s Father in My Fair Lady. A working-class gent, who by indirectly rubbing up against the upper-classes by virtue of his daughter, is granted a great fortune of money and respect, and is thusly ruined by it; what he calls a middle-class morality. He can no longer do what he chooses to do, but rather now marches to the moral code of those who elevated him.

In the words of Doolittle Senior, who asked them to make a gentleman of me?


I hope that Thomas attends the wedding free of fear or recompense. But, brutally, I fear that he’s already revealed what you shouldn’t to jackals: weakness.

Just get him to the church on time, guys.


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