While you were asleep: Hastie points finger at China, PS4 to die soon, Mitchell/Simmons war rages on

Morning! Overnight we’ve discovered the expanse of China buying our government, the finite lifespan of the PS4 and how much we’re no closer to determining the Rookie of the Year.



Hastie believes Communist China’s influence over our politics stems from one of our own.

As Tony Montana once opined: First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women. One stage two of that plot is Chinese-Australian businessman Chau Chak Wing, who has had a rather serious allegation aimed at him by Andrew Hastie, the chair of the intelligence and security committee.

Hastie believes that Dr Chau is the mythical “Co-Conspirator 3 or CC-3” named in court documents surrounding the attempted bribing of the United Nations president of the General Assembly, John Ashe.



According to the ABC, Dr Chau has long donated to both sides of the political spectrum at home, and according to Hastie, Chau also has links to the Chinese Communist Party, stating: “The same man with extensive contacts in the Chinese Communist Party, including the United Front…in Australia, it is clear that the Chinese Communist Party is working to covertly interfere with our media, our universities and also influence our political processes and public debates.”

With Chau yet to respond to the ABC’s request for a comment, I suppose the only absolute thing to do is to meet Mr Hastie at the flagpole and sort it out. He’s been saying nasty stuff about you, Dr Chau. I would deck him, eh.



Sony claims that the PS4 is entering the end of its life cycle, nerds everywhere start digging holes.

For those of you who are gleefully ensconced in the warmness of your PS4 relationship, know that your beau is dying, Forrest. According to the dorks in the know at Sony HQ, the PS4 is entering the last stages of its life. Now, according to the rhetoric around it, the hardware was dated when it was released, and that was five whole years ago.



So, with the PS5 set to arrive around the 2020-2021 window, in the interim we should prepare ourselves for the other side of love – nursing something that increasingly no-longer represents that thing you once loved so.



The Donovan Mitchell/Ben Simmons rookie war wages on, with pointless streamers awarded to both.

With the NBA season dusted for the galaxy of true fans (leaving just the Bron-ites and the bandwagon Warriors), our attention turns to the NBA draft, where hope will again spring eternal. But before we get there, we must endure the pointless garnering of awards.

For many, the most interesting dust-up of the season was the rookie donnybrook between Donovan Mitchell and the (not technically a rookie) Benjamin Simmons. This battle has bled over from the court to the steps, and onto the chests of those involved.



The question on the lips, mind and thumbs of the collective is who? Well, we don’t know. But we do know that they both made the All-Rookie First Team, an elite five of virginal excellence which highlighted a rather more interesting statistic:



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