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The cryptocurrency-funded floating utopia that will save us all – or not

Some empathetic rebels want to establish a series of floating utopias, funded by crypto. A place to relax outside the restrictive borders of international law. 



Often, the greatest thing about a life carefully cultivated is the opportunity to uproot and flee to harmless tropical climes held in the grip of numerous cocktails, where the only choice you need to make today is whether to attend that evening’s luau-cum-orgy or stay in your room and fill yourself.

As we discover through unfortunate experience, our tiny retreats are often not what we envisioned, as for every Kokomo, there’s a Dreadlock Holiday. Or, living in the modern sphere, everywhere has been discovered and franchised, which really takes the banana out of one’s daiquiri.

However, one project is looking to put the lawless revelry back into the family holiday retreat. Called the Floating Island project, the creators hope to create a utopia archipelago, completely free of laws, interference and legislative cock-blockery.

One of the creators, Nathalie Mezza-Garcia, represented the push, with hopes to build numerous floating micro-states after selling enough cryptocurrency, with a hopeful kick-off date of 2020.

Now, the plan seems to be based on extremely worthy ideals, with the islands (other than leisure) being a place to resettle refugees, treating the ill or being a catch-all for all those people who don’t fit in elsewhere.

Which sounds fine in theory, but the pages of mankind’s history are typed in clear font, 36 scale, double spacing, making clear our poor implementation of. I mean, let’s be real here, the first of the above examples, the rehousing of refugees off the map on an unknown and barely regulated tropical island sounds a lot like the town called Manus. The second would probably just become a Potemkin collection of holding places for the nearly dead, and the last sounds like every dystopian 1980s actioner where the gruff protagonist has to infiltrate a place that goes by its own rules, because bad people live there. Escape from New York, Mad Max 2, Watership Down.

I mean, I want this to work. According to the CNBC interview, the general floating currency will be crypto, which is ironically what it was invented for, not to make the more intolerable colleagues of yours rich. So, that works, but will established sovereign nations trade with these upstarts?

If not, do the owners/locals then have to import everything at a retail price? If so, do they just become tiny proxies for the countries they’re allied with, and in turn, bring the grudges of the old world that everyone is here trying to escape from?

Questions, indeed. To be honest, I just want a quiet leafy place to nap, read and get drunk. And maybe laid. Just a place like Kokomo. That’s where I want to go.


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