Well, Good Morning. Overnight, Kate Spade left us, Donald Trump made an adult decision and our friendly, simple upstairs neighbours turned 159.
NY fashion designer Kate Spade passes, Twitter begins vibrant mourning.
This morning, the heaving metropolis of New York lost someone who defined its streets. Fashion designer Kate Spade was unfortunately found dead this morning, in an apparent suicide. The designer was made famous by her vibrant middle finger to the inaccessible European fashion houses who put the humble handbag out of the reach of the humble American. She painted in grand colour, not dour stuffery.
I remember when I got my first Kate Spade bag in high school. It was my most prized possession. My current wallet ,covered in bees , makes me smile every time I see it- it’s by Kate Spade. My heart is just broken for her family and loved ones.
— Beth Behrs (@BethBehrs) June 5, 2018
#KateSpade, whose lively, colorful, and yes, joyous designs has died. My deepest sympathy to her family and friends, and her many fans around the world, who loved the wonderful illusions she created. I am stunned.
— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) June 5, 2018
My grandmother gave me my first Kate Spade bag when I was in college. I still have it. Holding Kate’s family, friends and loved ones in my heart.
— Chelsea Clinton (@ChelseaClinton) June 5, 2018
Kate Spade was more than a designer. She had a quirky visual language that captivated Bat Mitzvah girls and artists alike. She was also a staple of NYC who spread good will. My heart breaks for her family. Thank you, Kate, from one of the millions you made feel beautiful.
— 💎 Lena Dunham 💎 (@lenadunham) June 5, 2018
While her designs may live in, it goes without saying that depression doesn’t discriminate. If you or anyone you know needs help, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.
Trump de-invites the Super Bowl winners to the White House over knee protest, protestor takes knee.
America is a strange place, a land of odd tradition. It’s a place where the losers honour the losses of a war that was fought over slavery, it’s a place that celebrates leading the world in obesity per capita with a hot-dog eating contest on Coney Island. Above all, when you win the big game, you get to go to your democratic-daddy’s house to meet the President. After all, you earned it, by pushing a fellow citizen closer to dementia in pursuit of a round object, wearing tight pants.
However, the Donald knows that a tradition only has worth when you stop doing it. The people need something to miss, and something to nostalgise. It’s why the unison complaint of we’ve been doing this for x years, before it was stopped has endless value.
Last season, the Philadelphia Eagles, a team famous for having the most gronks per capita in their fanbase in the NFL, went and won the big trophy. The will, however, not be visiting the White House. In a statement, Donald spoke in the third person, wobbling: “The Philadelphia Eagles are unable to come to the White House with their full team to be celebrated tomorrow,” Trump said in a statement. “They disagree with their President because he insists that they proudly stand for the National Anthem, hand on heart, in honour of the great men and women of our military and the people of our country. The Eagles wanted to send a smaller delegation, but the 1,000 fans planning to attend the event deserve better.”
This all boils down to the act of kneeling during the anthem, one that was made in protest regarding police violence, with unemployed QB Colin Kaepernick the martyr. Oddly, when Jesus’ #1 Fan Tim Tebow did the same, he was celebrated as a rad dude.
Nevertheless, because of the kneel, no meeting with the Prez. In its place, the White House decided to hold an event to celebrate America, replete with the national anthem.
Then this happened.
Man takes a knee as the National Anthem is played on the White House lawn during the “Celebration of America” event that took the place of the Philadelphia Eagles’ intended visit. https://t.co/hGkR2BTysA pic.twitter.com/Pq96egFjzK
— ABC News (@ABC) 5 June 2018
Queensland celebrates birthday with the recommencement of nonsense hostilities.
Today is Queensland’s birthday. Happy Birthday to youuuu. It has been 159 years since Queensland decided to part from the far-superior borders of New South Wales to start their own colony, where sunburn would become a badge of courage, where shooting straight would be the aim and where the rules of the English language would be deemed void.
It’s also (oddly) State of Origin evening. Which makes the birthday an event, as they’re set to participate in the closest thing to a civil war we’ll ever witness. The lines forever drawn, the endless battle, where a cockroach fights a toad. A complicit battle of wills fought on a football field, but is probably also happening in the more abandoned public toilets of this fine nation.
Imagine being born a Queenslander?
— Paul Jobber ⚽️🏏🏉 (@paul_jobber23) 5 June 2018
It is #Origin day. I live in Queensland but am from News South Wales. Do I wear this out today and risk getting stabbed or even worse…verbally abused? #StateofOrigin #UpTheBlues pic.twitter.com/Qy8BbiVHWz
— Pagey ⚡️ (@Pagmyst) 5 June 2018
Happy Birthday, Queensland.
I hope youse get smashed, eh.