The Donald/Kim summit is just the sideshow of a more important circus

If you’re wondering what we’ll get from this Donald/Kim summit, I suggest we already got it – a handshake and a photo op.



Well, it’s official. One hand has met another, but how much should we clap? And how much should we expect from this whole Donald/Kim summit? Despite the fact that the leaders of North Korea and American have never met before, history shows that the last person to visit Trump to ask him for something that was also named Kim and sported a similar height/build went rather well.



Which is to say, Kim got what she wanted. Maybe Donald did too. He was felt wanted, important and got to meet the next First Lady of the United States. That was a nice, safe moment for him. Standing in the bathroom mirror later, naked, it’s possible Donald was feeling himself. Maybe literally.

The real question is, what do we expect out of this far more important meeting?

Probably memes for one.




But other than that, it’s a harder question to answer.

It’s fair to say that the squabble at the political barbecue has considerably cooled since Donald nicknamed Kim after his favourite Elton John song, and Kim promised to bomb Darwin in turn. Since then, we’ve had North and South Korea promise peace before that agreement was ruffled by the winds of a reckless South Korean military exercise. But the vestiges of that moment live on. We assume that they’ll work it out, and hope it won’t go nuclear, fearing that the unchecked amour fou of an unsuitable couple would ruin our dinner.

Today is an extremely historic one, certainly, and the more awkward moments above were the primary reason why these talks are happening. For what it’s worth, Trump described the meeting as “very, very good”, but are will we be sated by a handshake and the assumption of peace, and little progress after that?

I say yes.

After all, it’s a peace for a war that’s not exactly at a risk of happening. The US/NK/SK/China squabble is not going to kick off in this universe or any alternate one. Even the Cold War pie fight ribaldry of Dr Strangelove is more likely to happen before our steel rain comes. If any agreement is to be met today, it might be a promise to stop calling each other mean names. Which is a kind of peace, I guess, but it seems a diversion from the actual issue.



The true measure of a more open North Korea is what happens with the country it shares a border with. The rest is something that diplomacy often falls to – a free lunch and a photo-op. Until the bricks of a more open version of South and North Korea are solidified, and the walls between the two are truly torn down, let’s take today for what it really is: a meeting of hands, an exercise of organised masturbation.




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