TBS Sportsdesk

About TBS Sportsdesk

Presents you the alternate world of sports. Well, not alternate, because it's primarily based on sports. A deeper look into the world, villains and loss surrounding the gaudy world of professional sport? Yeah, that'll do. Every Sunday, if your church hangover can handle it.

England overcomes themselves to beat Colombia on penalties

To prove that we’re truly in the underworld, England has advanced in the World Cup by virtue of a penalty shootout. What?



It’s a phrase none of us are familiar with. A collection of words so foreign, the vibrations shiver the spine and cross our shoulders in the sign of the lord: England wins on penalties.



If you’re unsure why this matters, England is a land of great histories and traditions reduced. For many centuries there were three that sat atop the moral mantle, forever above reach. Spot o’ Tea, Spot o’ Colonialism, and a Spot o’ Disappointment from the penalty spot.



Sadly, this morning we lost the latter, with the English overcoming not Colombia, but themselves, driving a stake through their own china hutch, melting the good silver of their worst assumptions with the volcanic fire of unexpected victory. There was a great moment to be witnessed, though, as Eric Dier thrashed in the deciding penalty, he stood the victor, but not in revelry, or exaltation, but confusion. It was a moment that echoed the pulse of a nation, a thought of what the fuck happens now? Where do I run? Did that actually happen?



Next for the English will be Sweden, a tie they should easily win, a tie that will build golden ambition and fearful cynicism in the same measure.

They’ve been here before, but they haven’t.

I’m just going to leave this here:



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