Two Lies and a Truth

About Two Lies and a Truth

Each week we'll be diving into the recess of questionable news pieces online to ascertain how much of it we truly believe. Saddle up that cynicism, sheeple!

Fake News. Why you always lying? This week, we fact-check Kurt Cobain’s Trump warning, the fake that sued the original and the origins of a rather toxic book.



As Francis Bacon once said: “There is no beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.” And he’d know, as he created Bacon & Eggs one morning back in 1626 when his arm fell into the pan he was cooking breakfast in.

Fake News is a lot like that (the beauty part, not breakfast), it’s often brutal, ugly and smells questionable, but for some reason, you cannot look away. It’s imperfectly perfect. So, you gawp and screw your neck in its direction when it proudly struts by you, as you wonder what a life shared with it would be like.

But, know that you cannot trap Fake News, you can’t put a ring on it and quietly shuffle it off to suburbia. Sadly, it will remain a love felt from afar, briefly interspersed by numerous bouts of hatefucking. But know this, it’ll leave you unfulfilled, and the cigarettes you smoke afterwards will not bring you two closer. Fake News will never change. It’s best you move on as quick as possible, and find someone who deserves you. Someone boring, like objective fact. They’re always texting you. Call them.

We’re driving to Fake News’s house aren’t we? Ok.


Internet Curio #1 – Kurt Cobain predicts the Trump administration in a mind-blowing discovery.

The present isn’t fun, so it stands to reason that we look to the past to see if anyone tried to warn us. Similar to the sinking of the RMS Titanic and the paperback that called it, we have a jangled bell of warning regarding the size of our very own iceberg we steered blithely into in Donald Trump.

The ringer of the bell is the most interesting aspect, as it seems that Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain predicted our reality back way back in 1993, a gnarly piece of soothsaying that was suddenly uncovered in meme form.



I mean, it’s hard to take seriously, as he didn’t even manage to spell his name correctly. Thanks, Courtney. But let’s not immediately discount the possibility of his warning beyond the grave, perhaps the clues reside in his lyrics.

In the track ‘Lithium’ (which is also a drug used to treat depression), Kurt sings: “Light my candles in a daze/Cause I’ve found God”


Neo Nazis, Alt-Right, and White Supremacists at the Charlottesville riots.


Yep. Well done, Kurt. Moving onto ‘Heart Shaped Box’, which could easily be applied to Donald’s godawful policy of separating kids from their parents and putting them in cages. I’ve been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks.



Fair. Two from two. That being said, there is a divergence, as the lyrics of ‘Come as you are’ directly contradicts the facts. Especially the line: Come as you are/And I swear that I don’t have a gun. I mean, the Trump immigration ban proves that to not be true, as does his plan to arm schoolteachers instead of taking the many guns away.

You can extend it further, as Trump losing uber-American industry (like Harvey Davidson) fits wonderfully in with ‘The man who sold the world’, but it’s a Bowie song, so it doesn’t count. Unless David Bowie also tried to warn us against Donald Trump…

Check it out. ‘Life on Mars’ could be seen as either a jab at Donald’s moronic Space Force, or the fact that he’s blurred the line between television and reality, and that his destruction of the media has pushed us all the way to apathy. Bowie said the song was about a young woman’s reaction to the presented media: “I think she finds herself disappointed with reality… that although she’s living in the doldrums of reality, she’s being told that there’s a far greater life somewhere, and she’s bitterly disappointed that she doesn’t have access to it.”

You know, like being able to talk to the President whenever you like, but he doesn’t hear you.



Internet Curio #2 – Man slut-shames the Statue of Liberty, sues the original for likeness…and wins.

Las Vegas is a patch of desert that doubles as the plinth for American effort. Once upon a time, they travelled to the far side of the globe, but now they just create faux-versions of famous landmarks so you don’t have to leave your state to see it. That, plus slots. Yeeehaw!

However, God’s favourite playground has cashed in again, as they’ve sued the US Postal service (and won) over the fact that they used their phony version of the State of Liberty on a collection of stamps.



I have a series of questions. Let’s cut immediately to the chase. The Vegas version is a look-a-like. It has no artist merit. It’s like going to the Louvre, tracing over a Matisse and suing his estate. That’s one aspect of the case, but I’d also like to call into question everyone who worked on the case, and how much time and money was wasted on this non-issue.

Per The Associated Press:

Las Vegas sculptor Robert Davidson, who created the replica Lady Liberty in the facade at the New-York-New York casino-resort on the Las Vegas Strip, sued the Postal Service five years ago over its 2011 “forever” stamp design.

The stamp featured the face of his Lady Liberty, which his attorneys argued in court filings was unmistakably different from the original and was more “fresh-faced,” ”sultry” and even “sexier.”

The Postal Service had been releasing the stamps for at least three months before discovering it was not an image of the New York statue.

Postal Service attorneys argued Davidson’s design was too similar for him to claim copyright.

Federal Judge Eric Bruggink sided with Davidson last week and agreed his work was an original design with a more modern, feminine and contemporary face. He ordered the Postal Service to pay $3.5 million to the artist — a slice of the $70 million the service made in profit from the stamp.

So, just to recap. Mr Davidson created the slutty Halloween costume version of a metaphor. He took liberties with Lady Liberty, disrespected her, and got paid as a result. Gun violence? No. This is America, Mr Gambino.



Internet Curio #3 – Researchers discover humanity’s most toxic manuscript since Twilight.

If there’s one thing that fiction in Denmark knows, it’s the needless poisoning of practically everyone. Claudius, represent! 

This week, we have another version of it, as they’ve discovered books from the 16th and 17th century lined with poison. X-ray analysis of the books held by the University of Southern Denmark revealed a large concentration of arsenic on the covers.



I mean, obviously no-one knows why, but as a fellow writer, I think I have a clue. One of the things that we struggle with (other than the rent, wocka wocka) is having people read our work. We fear this, because we know we can’t write.

I’m willing to venture that the whole arsenic schtick is just the reaction of a writer sick of the rejections.

I feel ya, buddy.

Say…does anyone want to read my manuscript?



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