With the digital release of Avengers: Infinity War, we tasked our resident nerds to cut through the moments that will cut you deep. Sorry.
Avengers: Infinity War crashed back into our feels this week with its digital release; featuring extended scenes, directors’ commentary and the chance to weep uncontrollably. We all know it’s tempting, once you own a film, to analyse it scene by scene… so that’s exactly what we did. Here are ten of the most heartbreaking, and ten of the most hilarious moments from Infinity War, with even more in The Nerd Reserve podcast! Laugh, cry, and get this man a shield.
1: Thanos’ foreshadowing:
He literally tells us the Avengers will fail…and yet, we hope to the last second they won’t.
1.a Masters of the Mystic Arts meet the Avengers, including, but not limited to:
“A ‘Hunka-Hulka Burning Fudge’ is our favourite.” – Wong loving some Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream
“Tony, you lost another super-bot?!” – Bruce Banner
“Say, Doc, you wouldn’t happen to be moving your hair, would you?” – Tony Stark
2. Tony still has Steve Rogers’ burner phone
It’s been two years since the Avengers fractured in Civil War, but Tony clearly still hopes to reunite.
2a: The battle in New York, including, but not limited to:
“Dude, you’re embarrassing me in front of the wizards.” – Tony Stark to Bruce Banner
“He’s from space, he came here to steal a necklace from a wizard.” – Ironman explaining the battle to Spider-man
“Mr Stark, it smells like a new car in here!” – Peter Parker receiving the Iron-Spider suit
3: Literally everything about Thor. He. Is. So. Tragic.
His brother and best friend are murdered in the first five minutes of the film and, with nothing left to lose, he is willing to sacrifice himself for the Hail Mary.
3a. Chris vs Chris:
Thor: “Are you mocking me?”
Peter Quill: (lowering his voice) “Are you mocking me?”
She asks Peter Quill to kill her (“Swear on your mother”), twice! Her howling tears when she thinks she’s killed Thanos, her false hope when she believes he is thwarted, and her last-ditch effort to kill herself rather than let him get the Soul Stone… *weeps uncontrollably*
4a. Drax’s invisibility:
Quill: “Dude, how long have you been standing there?”
Drax: “An hour… I’ve mastered the ability of standing so incredibly still I become invisible to the eye.” (visibly eats a nut) “I’m sure I’m invisible.”
5. Dr Strange’s time travel:
Strange: “I went forward in time to view alternate futures, to see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict.”
Quill: “How many did you see?”
Strange: “Fourteen-million, six-hundred and five.”
Stark: “How many did we win?”
5a. Peter Parker, Tony Stark and Dr Strange:
“You are a seriously loyal piece of outerwear.” – Stark to the Cloak of Levitation
“Oh, we’re using our made-up names. Um, I’m Spider-man then.”
and later, “Magic! More magic! Magic with a kick!”
6. Peter Quill’s epic F-up:
The plan was working! But Quill’s very human response to losing Gamora messed it all up.
Particularly heartbreaking? They were so close to getting the gauntlet.
“It’s coming it’s coming it’s coming, I’ve got it, I’ve got it” – Spidey, seconds before everything goes sideways.
6a. Avengers meet Guardians, including, but not limited to:
“Die, blanket of death!” – Drax struggling with the Cloak of Levitation
“I’ll do you one better – why is Gamora?” – Drax, just being Drax
“I like your plan, except it sucks, so let me do the plan and that way it might be really good.” – Peter Quill to Tony Stark.
7. Groot chopping off his own arm to make Stormbreaker
Without his axe, Thor will die and Thanos will win. Groot, the moody teenager who gives zero damns about anyone else, cuts off his own arm to make Stormbreaker’s handle.
*Whispers to self* We are Groot.
7a. Thor and Eitri make Stormbreaker:
Eitri: “It’ll kill you.”
Thor: “Only if I die.”
Eitri: “Yes, that’s what killing you means.”
8. Literally everything about Wanda Maximoff and Vision
Scarlet Witch’s powers come from the Mind Stone, and so she is the only one who can destroy it…except it’s in the head of the man she loves.
“It shouldn’t be you, but it is. It’s alright, you could never hurt me, I just feel you…it’s alright, it’s alright, I love you.” – Vision to Wanda as she kills him.
8a. Rocket meets The Winter Soldier:
Rocket: “How much for the gun?”
Bucky Barnes: “Not for sale.”
Rocket: “Ok, how much for the arm? (Bucky walks away) …ooh I’ll get that arm.”
9. Captain America and Thor reunite:
Cap: “New haircut?”
Thor: “Noticed you’ve copied my beard. Oh by the way, this is a friend of mine, Tree.”
Groot: “I am Groot!”
Cap: “I am Steve Rogers.”
10. Tony Stark’s last stand:
“All that for a drop of blood?” – Thanos
Then the strike nobody saw coming: Thanos stabs Tony.
“When I’m done half of humanity will still be alive, I hope they remember you.” – Thanos
10a. The final quip of the movie:
“Throw another moon at me and I’m going to lose it.” – Tony Stark
Bonus heartbreak: everything after the snap:
The confusion, the bewilderment, the horror.
The translation of Groot’s final words to Rocket: “Dad.”
Tony Stark and Peter Parker, or rather Mr Stark and Kid,… “Mr Stark, I don’t feel so good…I don’t know what’s happening…I don’t want to go, sir please, I don’t want to go…I’m sorry.”
Note: Parker lasted longer than anyone else because he was using all his strength as Spider-man to try and stay. (Also, I’m crying as I write this.)
And finally, “Oh God.”