Good morning, gorgeous. Overnight, Donald Trump’s lawyer decided he was guilty, Justin Trudeau was the subject of a flame war and Dolly Parton discovered memes. Ok.
Michael Cohen pleads guilty, admits he broke the law at Trump’s behest.
Well, well, well. Well. The thing that he hoped for happened, but it wasn’t nearly as good as we hoped it’d be. Donald Trump’s longtime lawyer has pleaded guilty to eight counts of chicanery, entering a plea deal with federal prosecutors. The juiciest nut of the entire bag is this quote, which didn’t spare Donald from the fires of uh-oh.
BREAKING: In his guilty plea, Michael Cohen says hush money payments to women were made “at the direction” of Trump.
— The Associated Press (@AP) 21 August 2018
Now, disappointingly, the trail from there might run cold, as the plea deal stops him from talking to the New York investigators, but he’d have no protection from the FBI’s questions, should they come a-knocking.
“The plea agreement does not call for Mr. Cohen to cooperate with federal prosecutors in Manhattan, but it does not preclude him from providing information to the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller” https://t.co/1p9v478xXT
— Michael Tackett (@tackettdc) 21 August 2018
Cohen is facing jail time, and a fiduciary hit, but for those looking to place Donald’s head on a pike, it’s barely a home run, as while the sitting President is implicated, we’re unsure how much he’ll be scraped by the bullet that Cohen unmistakably took this morning.
Michael Cohen just pleaded guilty on 8 counts in a federal court. Read the plea deal now. https://t.co/dXiFPz4Zk7
— Vox (@voxdotcom) 21 August 2018
Justin Trudeau uses politics to fight racism, Canada stoops to an Australian level of discourse.
The scalp of Trudeau is a prize sought by many. Myself included, mostly because I’m an Australian, and as such, our politicians are an embarrassment, and forever should remain as such, and no examples should ever exist that refute that logic. Overnight, the Twitterverse kind of got Justin totes real good, as it seems that he called someone racist as a diversion, as a means to not answer the question asked of him.
I mean, honestly, I don’t think so.
— CBC Montreal (@CBCMontreal) 20 August 2018
But, Twitter is as Twitter does, and shortly it devolved into a gum-flapping exhibition in folly.
This is how you can tell when Liberals are losing. Concerned about illegal border crossers? You’re a racist. Worried about the cost? You’re un-Canadian. Don’t like the carbon tax? You’re a denier. Canadians are sick and tired of this. 3/5
— Andrew Scheer (@AndrewScheer) 20 August 2018
Racism, Carbon tax, Doublespeak.
We did it, dudes. We finally did it. We’re just like Canada.
Dolly Parton enters the age of internet mirth, dusts off antique meme.
Everyone loves Dolly Parton. Presumably, because she’s a throwback of when America was great, back when you could work 9-to-5 and make a living, and when Burt Reynolds was quick to violence or the accelerator. She’s an institution of time and out of time. Like the Smithsonian, but with bigger guns, y’know?
This morning, Dolly made with the memes, referencing the goliath of mirth of early 2018 (that we somehow all lived through), the “distracted boyfriend” meme, further making reference to her 1973 banger Jolene.
— Dolly Parton (@DollyParton) 20 August 2018
Nice. Although, if Dolly-based throwback memes are now a thing, may I suggest this one?