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According to research, the key to a long marriage is base intelligence. Dissapointly, it also states that we don’t want that.
Once upon a time, I asked my friend’s mother what was the secret behind her long marriage. She turned to me and said, “Don’t talk about things that don’t matter.” Was she talking about petty arguments over who took the garbage out, or maybe the absurdity of discussing hypothetical scenarios that would end in a fight? She explained to me, “Don’t tell him about your day or your concerns, he is already busy in his mind providing for you. He just wants a hot meal and a hand to hold.”
Not great advice.
So if I can’t get great advice from people married almost half a century, where do I turn? Not Cosmo magazine or AskMen.com, but maybe science. Disappointingly, the research is confusing. Depending on what you read, the research suggests smart women should marry dumb men. While an offensive thought, the research explains that women who intend to reproduce and start a family need to accept, as a Professor of Anthropology at Yale University says, “that there are fewer educated men in the world for educated women to partner with.”
If you do find the one though, it seems that men who marry smart women tend to live longer. This is supported by what some call the “Clooney effect”, where men say they desire a woman who is more intelligent than they are, as well as strong and successful.
But what about smart men? Well, compared to their female counterparts, research believes that smart men tend to be more open-minded, which results in a willingness to be more compromising and less stringent to date based on criteria.
A study of over 200,000 men aged 18-45 found that smart men led the way in relationship survival. One of the reasons behind this, is that smarter men were found to be more capable of discussing their feelings and expressing their emotions, resulting in a strong ability to have a better, stable, communicative relationship. The research also looked at the link between verbal, non-verbal and numerical intelligence, discovered that those with higher cognition and intelligence scores had a higher chance of staying married, or in a stable relationship.
Sounds great. Next time I trudge into the slop of the dating world, I’ll do it with IQ test in hand.