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Do your chores, or no internet: Ecuadorian embassy grounds Assange

In an effort to force him out the door, the Ecuadorian embassy has instituted a raft of very serious house rules for Julian Assange.

 

 

As a longtime resident of my parent’s house, I recognise the behaviour of the Ecuadorian Embassy. They’re trying to make Julian Assange move out through passive-aggressiveness. Overnight, they’ve outlined a whole raft of house rules, making sure that Julian understands the new house rules, and if wants to live under this roof, you’ll abide by these rules. And if he’s unwilling to abide by these rules, he’ll be totally out of this house, and we’re very serious about this, young man.

Of the laundry list of complaints, published by Ecuadorean website Codigo Vidrio, the state of Julian’s bathroom is an issue almost as much as him dealing with the issues of other states. It seems that the Ecuadoreans are now limiting Julian’s web access, only allowing him to use it if he agrees to be nice, and only if he avoids all that political activity business. Julian’s cat, Kittyleaks (citation needed) was also dragged in front of this kangaroo court, with the owners of Embassy threatening to rehome it unless Julian takes particular care to ensure its hygiene, well-being and food is handled in a matter befitting an international house of law and because we’re sick of looking after it, Julian.

Strong words, indeed.

However, like all parents, they’ve made a serious mistake, as they’ve shown weakness through love, agreeing not to implement these new rules until December 1.

You blew it, guys. Now he’ll never move out. Because if you bend, you will eventually break. What’s for breakfast, mum?

Speaking of mothers, Julian’s own took particular umbrage with the ABC’s reporting the situation, stating:

 

 

I mean, I don’t want to editorialise here, nor do I want to tinfoil hat the reasons why such an obvious juvenile smear by mainstream media is aimed at Assange, but having your mum stick up for you is pretty lamesauce, hey. I mean, she had to, because the Ecuadorians changed the Wi-Fi password, but still.

With that being said, Julian diplomatically bending to the rules of these diplomats seem to be the only option. I mean, I’ve seen enough episodes of COPS to know that hiding out at your mum’s house doesn’t grant you diplomatic immunity.

 

 

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