Today’s Wentworth by-election is massive. Depending on who you’re listening to, the world is set to forever change because of it. Satire alert.
By-elections may have taken over from sausage sizzles as Australia’s favourite weekend pastime, but judging by the campaigning for this weekend’s Wentworth Federal by-election, humanity finds itself at a pivotal moment in its history.
If Labor or an Independent are to win today, we face a collapse of our revered economy, the end of our stable political system and an invasion of evil asylum-seeking terrorists that will destroy our precious western values that we hold so dear.
A Liberal victory will take climate change beyond the point-of-no-return, end trade with our nearest neighbours and result in an escalation of hostilities in the Middle East.
The pressure is on for Wentworth voters to get it right and save the world from outright disaster.