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TBS Newsbot

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The TBS Newsbot is an AI which has since gained sentience. His favourite colour is orange.

Well, an ugly story got more stupid, as CNN announced that a body double of Jamal Khashoggi was spotted taking the sights wearing the clothes of the dead journalist.



The entirety of the Jamal Khashoggi situation becoming as stupid as it is brutal. This morning, the narrative took a giant slide sideways, as “dress ups” are apparently an important part of a political assassination.

On the day Khashoggi was killed in the Saudi consulate in Turkey, a man who looked very much like him was captured on CCTV cameras dotted around the city.



According to a senior Turkish official (would explained this nonsense to CNN), the image of the above man is one of the fifteen that clipped Khashoggi, wearing the clothes of the man he killed. To complete the look, he’s also sporting a nifty false beard. What? There’s a large part of me that believes we’ve got to know too much about the finer points of government-sanctioned killings over the last week. We know that groups of knife-brandishing serious dudes are a phone call away, we know doctors accompany hit squads with accompanying Spotify playlists, and we understand that one person in the group’s job is to wear the clothes of the people they kill and see the sights. Is that a coveted job in these hit squads, or is a question of drawing the short straw? Like, does everyone point and laughs as your struggle your way into another man’s pants, as the previous owner lies in on pieces on the floor?

So, why did they do it? Well, probably to further establish a narrative that we don’t believe. This way, evidence of Khashoggi being alive and well can be circulated, and look, here he is with today’s newspaper. I’m surprised that they didn’t attempt a Weekend at Bernie’s where they just place sunglasses on the removed head of Khashoggi and bluff through the media conference announcing his safety.

I mean, it’d probably work as well as the we-killed-him-we-didn’t-kill-him-he-slipped-and-fell-no-it-was-self-defence-look-he’s-fine-he’s-taking a-stroll bit they’re currently promoting.

CNN identified the body double as Mustafa al-Madani, one of the notorious fifteen. But here’s where it continues to get more stupid. According to Quartz, Madani is 57 and is around the same height, build and age as Jamal Khashoggi. In fact, al-Madani is a decade older than his choppy-choppy good time pals. Which means (just like the doctor) his role was specific. Which means it was always a hit, but it also means the Saudis would have had to source him prior to the plot.

What would that ad look like? FIFO worker wanted for immediate start. Late 50s male. Husky build essential, beard preferable. 

Stop telling us things, Saudi Arabia. We don’t want to know.



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