According to one University, sexual intercourse with your ex will not stop you from moving on. It seems a bit…collegiate, though.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that every break up of good fortune, is in want for a regretful shag. We’ve all been there. We’ve cut it off with that person that was our everything, we’ve articulated our disappointment. Maybe we threw crockery, maybe we threw insults. Maybe we said goodbye to the dog, maybe we didn’t. We’ve packed our things, and left on the note we point we wanted to. But all of us, at least once, has found themselves back in their bed, stained in sweat, regret and confusion, having gone back for a posthumous bonk.
The “backslide” is a well known societal condition, one that we’ve been warned about. Never go back is the easily digestible truism, but one recent psychological study believes banging the ex is fine, because it doesn’t stop you from moving on. What?
According to data published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, that 3 am “you up?” message(and all that follows, isn’t risking a reconnection between the two parties. Questionable behaviour, sure. But according to the researchers of Fuckboi University, it’s apparently cool, because it doesn’t mean anything, babe.
Researchers at Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan conducted two studies to examine the effects of post-breakup sex, because one clearly wasn’t enough.
In the first experiment, they examined newly-single individuals by asking them to complete a series of online surveys in which they were asked whether they’d had any physical contact with their former partner, how it made them feel afterwards, and how emotionally attached they felt when the friction stopped.
In the second, participants were asked to report actual sexual encounters with ex-partners and record whether they were still emotionally attached. Because, wow, kick them while they’re down.
The researchers believe that post-breakup coitus doesn’t harm an individual’s emotional recovery. It sounds borderline questionable, but let’s not front. We’ve all done it, for numerous reasons. Revenge, hope, need, accident or impulse. Post-coital sex is a murky beast to define. While it is usually spectacular, it also tends to remind each party why they left. Maybe not in performance, but certainly in the minutes afterwards. You know what I’m talking about. Maybe you spoon afterwards, but the arm around the waist is tentative, hollow. You shower afterwards, but separately. The small talk often awkward, the jokes forced. It’s all you can do, as there’s a very narrow field of safe discussion to be had. Not the problems of yesterday, not your plans for tomorrow, and certainly not the merit of the present.
I mean, I’m not saying don’t do it. Just don’t make a thing of it.
Four times, max.