According to the internet, your avocado wants to kill you

According to the dorks of the internet, the humble avocado is a heartless antagonist that can and will kill you. 


The avocado. The legume that rules us all. Especially if you’re the wrong side of 30 with a patchy rental history. It’s important. However, we do tend to give our lord and flavour saviour a pass. Namely, because we don’t eat the skin, we don’t wash them, but because why would you.

Well, like everything in the internet age, it will quietly kill you, given the chance.

According to the US Food and Drug Administration, Listeria monocytogenes bacteria lives on the bumpy husk of yore. Dragging a knife through the skin and into the flesh could also spread it. Listeria is a fun infection. According to the US Centers for Disease Control, a “…a person with a Listeria infection might develop a fever, muscle aches, diarrhoea, and/or nausea. In severe cases, the infection can spread to the nervous system, causing disorientation, convulsions, and a stiff neck. It typically isn’t a severe threat to a healthy adult, but pregnant women, newborns, older people, and people who have weakened immune systems are particularly vulnerable to even small doses of Listeria. It’s especially dangerous during pregnancy, because a Listeria infection can transfer to the fetus. About 1,600 people get listeriosis each year in the US, and about 260 die from it.”

Which is all fine and well and good. But whatever, dudes. How about you just let us live. Or die. We’ve made our choice.

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