We should pay for Elon’s tunnel…if he fights Clive Palmer

Last night, Elon Musk promised the NSW Greens that he’ll build a tunnel under the Blue Mountains. We should pay him what he wants…with one condition.



Damn. You know what that smell is? It’s fear. Fear that our tiny country will be crushed as a result of two mega combatants duking it out for our love/investment dollars. Last night, the NSW Greens chose their warrior, drawing Elon Musk out of his Twitter lair, baiting him with the odour of his favourite foodstuff – heavily publicised investment.


Source: Twitter


Jeremy Buckingham braved the trek, begging Musk to save Sydney from itself. We were suffocated by exhaust smoke, we need space(x) to breathe again. Help us, Elon, won’t you? You’re our only hope.



Now, while it might be a question of congestion, I fear that might just be a cover story. Something we can cling to, instead of the awkward truth. You see, this week, a great giant evil resurfaced in this land. Our own uncontrollable local trilobite of dinosaur parks, dim sequels and potential wage fuckery, Clive Palmersauras. He returned to our collective shores, threatening to harm us with incessant text messaging.

We need Elon in the same way that the Tokyoians needed Gojira. He’s a necessary evil we need to fight an unnecessary evil. All we need to do is signal him.

We might need a tunnel, but not as much as we need Clive Palmer to leave us alone. Whether Elon can make ends meet (or whether he’s just making up these figures), is irrelevant. We just need to get him on a plane. Get him to witness firsthand the awful damage these powerful unchecked billionaires are doing to our humble fishing village.

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!





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