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According to one internet person, we can live it up in 2019, as we’ll all be killed at the end of it. For real this time. Really.



When we think of the year to come, a certain shudder tapdances down your spine. Australia Day, The Federal Election, your birthday. Beyond that, we’re facing serious ecological strife in the coming decade, things are getting more expensive, the jobs fewer and our worry palpable.

There are many things that we don’t strictly have the answer for. But, according to one crackpot/savant, we don’t have to, because we’ll all be dead come December 28.

David Montaigne, a man who bills himself as a “prophecy scholar” may have authored the prediction, but he is not just your garden variety internet numpty…he writes books and stuff.

This prediction comes from his 2013 tome End Times and 2019: The End of the Mayan Calendar and the Countdown to Judgement Day. Montaigne believes that an astronomical alignment on that date will cause ecological strife, casting us into the abyss for good.

Sounds great!

Problem is, that Davey has been incorrect previously, as he predicted that the world would end back in 2016, via the appearance of the anti-christ as a direct result of Barack Obama bagging the Presidency. I think we can all agree that that would have been a much finer apocalypse. I don’t believe that Montaigne is a racist, but a man/being of higher intelligence, one paying back a debt. He knew that the world dying at the height of a new optimism would have been a painless final breath. Something like dying in your sleep, not the gut-shot hideousness of the years that followed.

On his website, Montaigne claims that: “…on December 21, 2019, survivors will experience the first day of a pole shift – when the entire surface of the planet will shift out of position and move over the more fluid layers beneath the crust. Over the next few days, this will cause earthquakes and tidal waves and volcanic activity which will almost completely destroy what is left of our civilisation. There is a mountain of evidence in historical, geological, and biological records showing such pole shifts have happened before. Even the Bible describes them repeatedly. I think that we will experience another pole shift for the week following December 21, 2019, getting worse each day until the natural disasters culminate on December 28 – Judgement Day.”

Paying David his due, our magnetic poles can shift, and this has happened previously. On that topic, NASA claims that “…reversals are the rule, not the exception. Earth has settled in the last 20 million years into a pattern of a pole reversal about every 200,000 to 300,000 years, although it has been more than twice that long since the last reversal. A reversal happens over hundreds or thousands of years, and it is not exactly a clean back flip. Magnetic fields morph and push and pull at one another, with multiple poles emerging at odd latitudes throughout the process. Scientists estimate reversals have happened at least hundreds of times over the past three billion years. And while reversals have happened more frequently in “recent” years, when dinosaurs walked Earth a reversal was more likely to happen only about every one million years.”

I mean, sure, NASA. You would say that, you’re looking forward to going to Mars in 2020.

But for the rest of us, we finally can look forward to a long nap. No more teachers, no more books, no more et cetera. That and the week between Christmas and New Year 2019 will actually mean something.

Only 336 sleeps to go!







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