- America’s CAREN act will punish racially-motivated emergency calls
- Cutting taxes for the wealthy is the worst possible response to this crisis
- Hotel guests in Sydney CBD alerted to positive COVID test
- Labor brands COVIDSafe app “$2 million failure” after tracing bungle
- Tammy Duckworth: Biden’s possible number two becomes public enemy one
There comes a time in every man’s life when he’s required in the garden. Osmocote makes the transition easy and makes me look like the expert I certainly am not.
There comes a time in many men’s lives when marital responsibilities demand they take a profound decision about their future contribution to household maintenance.
The trouble with me is I’m just not handy around the house. I haven’t got a clue about how to fix light switches, the washing machine or the toilet. And the last time I tried to fix the car it looked like it had been in an accident.
When it comes to culinary capabilities a coffee and a jam sandwich represent the outer limits of my talent.
Shopping is definitely not my go. One of my worst nightmares is being trapped in a supermarket by hordes of hostile shoppers propelling trollies.
So when my wife issued what sounded like the final ultimatum I was left with no alternative but gardening. Actually, I find pottering in the garden to be quite therapeutic as long as I don’t have to do too much digging, hedge clipping or lawn-mowing.
My wife absolutely adores the garden and when I first took on this onerous responsibility she used to give me daily pep talks about something or other that had fallen below Botanic Gardens standards. You wouldn’t believe the number of times I was reminded that the rhubarb needed rejuvenating.
In fact, I was under such constant pressure that I was even considering giving up my gardening responsibilities and sacrificing myself to shopping. There’s only so much a guy can take before his confidence starts to collapse.
As luck would have it just at that very critical time in my life I had a chat with my mate Peter that changed my whole potential and perspective on gardening. You might even say it gave me a new lease of wife.
“Osmocote Boost and Feed is your answer,” he pronounced. “It’s so easy to use yet it has the power to transform a horticultural no-hoper like you into the next Jamie Durie.”
Truth to tell, I was initially rather sceptical because Peter does tend to exaggerate a trifle but I can’t tell you what a difference Osmocote has made to my standing as a gardener in the eyes of my wife. And let’s face it, nobody else’s opinion on this crucial issue really matters.
Every day I take a quick peek around the garden to check for signs of wilting and drooping especially amongst the rhubarb. Then all I have to do is apply a spray of Osmocote where required to perk things up again. It’s so easy to apply yet it makes it look like I know what I’m doing.
I asked Peter why Osmocote works so well. He explained that it is loaded with essential nutrients that permeate leaves and roots of vegetables and flowers and promote healthy growth. In addition, it contains a blend of bio-stimulants which promote healthier soils.
“Now come on,” I said to Peter, “it can’t be as perfect as all that. Doesn’t it have any drawbacks?”
“Not really,” responded Peter. “It simply has a few limitations. You should never apply Osmocote to lawns, young seedlings or indoor plants.”
I can’t speak too highly of Osmocote. These days my wife rarely questions my gardening expertise but old habits like nagging me about the beans and roses never die because they are part of the nostalgic fabric of our marriage.
Osmocote Boost and Feed has saved me from being roasted in the kitchen, being transformed into the handyman from hell or becoming too high a price to pay for shopping.
In fact, thanks to Osmocote everything in the garden is now absolutely lovely, even my wife.