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2019’s hot new health trend: Juice suggested by a ghost

You may have had celery juice, but have you had celery juice freshly sourced by a ghost?

 

 

The world of alternate health continues to hurtle around our newsfeeds, movement goosed by celebrity endorsement, its orbit never halted by the gravity of actual research or everyday common sense. Just this week, we witnessed one of our own tumbled into their nonsense supernova, as Miranda Kerr was photographed with legume-monikered internet shyster, David Avocado Wolfe.

 

 

Anyway, Kerr can Kerr as much as she wants, because it’s irrelevant. She’s fallen in crazy alt-med steeplechase, overtaken by a far more insane piece of nonsense: Celery juice…suggested by a psychic medium.

The author of this plot is a named that his parents named Anthony William, who now goes by the self-awarded handle the “Originator of Global Celery Juice Movement”, or a “medical medium”, if you’re short on time.

He’s certainly short on something (a medical degree), as the man is certainly not a doctor, but he is a best-selling New York Times author as well as being part of Gwyneth Paltrow’s questionable Goop cabal. His bio states that he “was born with the unique ability to converse with Spirit of Compassion who provides him with extraordinarily accurate health information that’s often far ahead of its time.”

To use the parlance of New York, I got yer Spirit of Compassion right ‘ere.

Scoff all you want, because it doesn’t matter. One payment platform disclosed to Quartz that between October 2018 and yesterday, they registered a 454% increase in celery juice sales. But that’s boring background. Back to spiritual matters. If William doesn’t rely on existing science, how did he manage to choose celery juice, and thusly, push it to the moon? Well, according to Quartz, William explained that a solitary voice (one that has been speaking to him since childhood) tipped him off about the amazing powers of celery:

I receive my information unconventionally. So that’s how it’s done. It’s through the gift of hearing the information. If you actually do any research on me, I hear a voice that gives me the information. But that information, as silly as it might sound to many, has actually helped millions heal, and I’ve actually dedicated my life to recovering people’s chronic illness with this information long ago. So it’s not like I woke up one morning and said ‘I’ve got too much celery in my fridge. Let me just use that by myself. Hey, I feel better today—now, let me go tell the world.’ That’s not it at all. The information was given to me.

Seems fine. But, for the sake of discourse, there are those who believe that William is making the whole thing up. Helen West, a registered dietician and co-founder of the evidenced-based nutrition hub The Rooted Project, says that far more evidence is needed to substantiate William’s health claims, stating: “In the case of celery, there are lots of people claiming it’s helped their symptoms … no reliable sources of evidence (like randomized controlled trials) which show that drinking celery juice works any better than a placebo,” she wrote by email. ”Anecdotes (i.e. people saying things like ‘it worked for me’) are interesting and can point to a phenomenon that scientists may want to examine further, but in and of themselves, are not a reliable source of evidence.”

I mean, sure, Helen. But what are your sources? Hmm. I’m afraid it’s spectral peer review or GTFO o’er here.

 

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