Matthew Reddin

About Matthew Reddin

Matt Reddin has been writing nonsense about film, TV, books, music and live theatre for a touch over 20 years. He’s gone from the halcyon days of street press in Perth, to regional dailies, national magazines and major metropolitan newspapers. Now, in between bouts of sporadically yelling at clouds, he vents his creative spleen at www.lessercolumn.com.au

The government is corrupt…and I feel fine

Yes, the government might be corrupt. Yes, they might be stuffing their pockets will ill-gotten gains. But you know what? It’s fine. Really.

 

 

Everything is fine. The government is not corrupt, and not teeming, leaking, oozing grifters doing all they can to raid the public coffers and stuff their socks with as much cash as they can before the walls come crumbling down. Not even a bit.

Except for this one thing. It has been reported far and wide that US ambassador, former federal treasurer and fat stogie fan, Joe Hockey, is the second Liberal to be linked to travel services firm Helloworld. Finance Minister Mathias Cormann went deep into his Belgian pockets on Tuesday and repaid the $2,780 he should have originally paid for flights to Singapore he was gifted back in the year of our lord 2017.

This is because he, apparently, never figured that the tickets were free, as you do. (I have to pay $60 for legroom and it stings every time, but the Finance Minister doesn’t notice at $3,000 gift…)

Helloworld was chosen for a $21 million government tender just weeks before Matti’s trip was booked. Nothing sus. And Joe Hockey “wanted to meet” a representative of the company around about the same time.

We’ll just go ahead and assume he was trying to make new friends.

Here’s another one: the police this week told a Senate committee that Michaelia Cash (as well as Michael Keenan) failed to provide witness statements to investigators concerning their prior knowledge about raids on the offices of the AWU. Senator Cash, the reigning champion of Parliamentary Hide & Seek, is linked to enough evidence that she could be prosecuted, but since she was unwilling to make any additional statements, that won’t happen because the feds don’t have enough to convict.

Because apparently you can just do that now. Or not do it. Or, here’s another one: they re-open Christmas Island as a detention facility, but have to improve the fixtures. The $423 million contract to do this is won by a company called Paladin Solutions through a limited tender process (Paladin has registered offices on a beach shack on Kangaroo Island…nothing sus). Take into account the fact that human potato Peter Dutton’s last name is Dutton (that’s something everyone can agree on). And that there’s someone working for Paladin named Karen Dutton, and that it might be his sister.

Which is a remarkable bit of…you know…coincidence. And that Joe Hockey was a major shareholder for Helloworld (the same Helloworld which got a different fat, juicy government contract in 2014), it really does look as though all the stick the coalition have been copping of late has been due.

Bringing it up, though? That’s “just a distraction” by Labor. They keep rolling out the same line.

Give ‘em credit. Have you ever tried to benefit from nepotism? It’s not easy. You need to be related to the right people, and those people need to be in positions of power. Rigging the system is tricky. Successfully doing it should be something worth celebrating. Trump and his cabinet, his family, his golf club members seem to be making a living out of it on a daily basis, and clearly they’re never going to get done for it (never mind that Jimmy Carter sold his peanut farm in 1976 so as to not show even the closest signs of interests being conflicted, while Trump still owns hotels which foreign dignitaries stay at while in Washington…to conduct official government business).

Is our plucky sunburnt nation any different?

So, I’d like to extend this invitation to all those who read this to take down the system. One small grift at a time. Simple solution: become related to people in power, then reap the spoils. Because apparently, you can just do this shit now. No consequences. No problem.

 

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