Fake News

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TBS Fake News is our response to the impressive worldwide growth of this phenomenon. Unlike fake news in other publications, however, our readers can be fully confident that TBS leaves nothing to chance in ensuring that our version is a one hundred percent genuine Fake.

Tony Abbott can’t believe how long the Centrelink queue is

The newly unemployed Tony Abbott has railed against the welfare system, wondering how they could possibly leave him on hold for so long.



The first week of Tony Abbott’s unemployment is not going well, as he’s spent the morning on hold waiting to speak to someone.

“I’ve already been down there,” the former Prime Minister disclosed to Fake News, “and now they’re asking for the same form, which they already have…don’t they know I have better things to do than sit around on the phone all day?”

Unwilling to hang up in case someone answered it, the former member for Warringah asked us to check on the progress of his stove-top popcorn, before loudly complaining about being dumped in another queue.

Decrying the state of the welfare system, Abbott loudly stated, “…they’re supposed to help those people who need help. Sixty minutes to talk to someone is a joke. Why isn’t this easier?”

“Who built this?” asked Mr Abbott, as he looked wistfully out the window soundtracked by Bach’s Ouverture No. 3 in D Major.


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