Belgium wants to lock up vegan parents, yes really

The lawmakers of Belgium now want to lock up parents who force veganism on their children. Which makes complete sense.



In the modern age, the vegan has become our easiest, most default antagonist. Supplanting the millennial’s reign of clickbait terror (c. 2016-2018), we hate the modern vegan for reasons we’re not entirely sure of. Maybe we just don’t like the look of them. Coming around here, telling us what meat they don’t eat, and telling us that we should do the same n’ that.

It’s ostensibly George Orwell’s Two Minutes of Hate solely kept in a BuzzFeed listicle. We yell at these people, because they’re on the screen in front of us.

Just look at them.



Well, to use a current-trending meme, ah shit, here we go again, as some doctors in Belgium have made clickbait news on the back of their belief that parents who turn their kids over to the plant side should be jailed…for two pissing years.

The insane minds of the Belgian Royal Academy of Medicine put this idea forth (which was carried local newspaper Le Soir), which loudly asserts that a vegan diet “causes under-nutrition and growth delays and is not recommended for pregnant women, children and adolescents, or for women who are lactating.”

“It is not medically recommended and even forbidden to subject a child, especially during periods of rapid growth, to a potentially destabilising diet, requiring frequent supplementation and control,” reads the statement, plainly stating that it is not ethical to impose a vegan diet on the children.

“We must explain to the parents before forcing them,” said Professor Georges Casimir, a paediatrician who led the commission that wrote the report, “but we can no longer tolerate this endangerment.”

Casimir told Le Soir that forcing children into veganism will now fall under a Belgian law that makes it a crime to fail to provide assistance to a person in danger, which carries a two-year sentence and/or a meaty amount of fines. Since veganism isn’t a crime in Belgium (yet), imposing it on children will not necessarily qualify as child neglect, but, according to Sputnik News, “it will make it easier for authorities to remove the child from their parents if his or her poor health is associated with a vegan diet.”

A criminal record, or losing your child…over jackfruit. Hell’s chickpeas.






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