Researchers have turned the heat up on the garment industry, inventing a patch that allows the user to be as warm (or as cold) as they like.
If there’s one unifying aspect that binds all technological advancement, it is our feared loss of tradition, the obsolete whatever it was invented to replace. This has held true since a Homo Erectus named ‘Glorp’ decided to use round rocks to transport something instead of lifting with your back. The same goes for the industrial revolution, where children no longer had to tell adults if they were breathing lethal gas in t’mine, and it absolutely keeps for the whole the-robots-are-coming-for-our-jobs schtick. Our traditions are important.
The new replaces the old, and perhaps we should shut up about it. However, what is at risk this week, is truly personal, truly awful and truly antiquated: Your mum.
Let me explain. Researchers at UC San Diego may have killed off the jumper for good.
Here it is:
The above is ostensibly a personal thermostat, allowing the user to regulate their temperature. Considering it is small enough (a size of two square inches), it allows one to forever be as toasty (or chilly) as they desire. What does this have to do with your mum? Well, ne’er again will she have to repeatedly ask you to dress appropriately for the outside climate. Which is a plus, because she’s sick of telling you.
The leader of the study that produced the tech, Professor Renkun Chen, believes that it would take 144 patches to make an actual jacket, but promises that his method, which uses electric current to manage the temperature is superior to all those other personal heating devices on the market.
So, yes. We could very much see the end of winter fashion in our lifetime. Which is particularly strange, as the inventors are part of a culture that revolutionised the tacky cardigan.
Maybe they were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.