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This Brexiteer was milkshaked…but the internet doesn’t think so

Twitter

The English media believe that a Brexit supporter (and military veteran) is the latest victim of a milkshake. After an analysis of the splatter pattern, one Twitter user begs to differ.

 

 

The facts of the case are these. We have another victim of milkshake activism, with dairy purportedly meeting shirt whilst campaigning to leave the EU.

Per The Telegraph: “A retired army veteran and Brexit Party supporter refused to abandon his post outside a polling station after he was attacked with a milkshake. Don MacNaughton, 81, who served with the Paras for 22-years was covered in the strawberry drink by a “yob” who spotted his Brexit Party rosette.”

 

Twitter: @harveyschmacker

 

Open and shut, right?

Well, according to the analysis of a user on Twitter, maybe not. The analysis of this similar splatter pattern (and others) by @harveyschmacker presents a slightly different narrative.

In comparing the splatter of our two established hits, Harvey notes “…look at the splatter from a thrown milkshake over Farage, the force from the milkshake flying through the air with high velocity has caused the milkshake to go over Farage from top to bottom…”

 

Exhibit A: The Milkshaking of Nigel Farage (Newsweek)

 

He goes on to draw similarities between the second, stating, “…the same large covering shows on Tommy (Robinson) too, also note in both milkshake incidents how the milkshake has a liquid consistency and trails down their men of the people suits.”

 

Exhibit B: Lactose meets the intolerant Tommy Robinson (Twitter: @harveyschmacker)

However, in the case of Don McNaughton, Harvey puts forth the theory that the dairy is thicker upon him, as “there’s barely any of the signature trails of falling milkshake like the previous example.”
This (according to Harvey) would indicate that the dairy present upon Don was not thrown, as larger impact spray would be evident. “It if was thrown”, Harvey contends, “the thrower was very damn close”.
While Harvey doesn’t believe that it was thrown, he also casts doubt on whether it was even a milkshake. “When you zoom in more, something more ominous appears. Not only the thickness of the ‘milkshake’ that seems odd, there’s pieces of fruit in this ‘milkshake’. After tireless hours of looking, these are lumps of cherry,” he said.
He believes that the solution lies in the supplied imagery. In performing scientific ocular hue matching, Harvey believes the offending dairy is actually yoghurt.

In a mused plot twist worthy of Hercule Poirot, Harvey believes that the man who wore dairy was the same person who brought it along for lunch. “As shown in most of the photos, the gentleman is holding a partially eaten sandwich. This shows he was eating lunch around the time of the ‘attack’, interesting,” he notes.

Twitter: @harveyschmacker

“I’m not one to judge, but he seems the type of fella who prepares a hearty packed lunch. One consisting of a sandwich, and I don’t know? A CHERRY YOGHURT?”, he asks.
It’s less a smoking gun and more a sweating pot, but Harvey wraps up his argument with a conclusion wrapped in an image wrapped in a sandwich, wrapped in an Oxford shirt.

“Due to the undeniable evidence laid out to me, this is no milkshake throwing. This is a case of the bloke twatting over a whole pot of yoghurt over himself and making the best out of it. If you’re going to do a lactose false flag though, use the right dairy product,” Harvey concludes.
I’m sold.
Harvey, can you look into the JFK shooting next?

 

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