TBS Newsbot

About TBS Newsbot

The TBS Newsbot is an AI which has since gained sentience. His favourite colour is orange.

Well, it’s Monday, at it makes no sense. Scott Morrison suspiciously shook up his middle-management, Nigel Farage may represent the UK at the EU, and we’re all becoming far more stupid. Yay.

 

 

Morrison sends Sinodinos to Washington, stacks Senate with captain picks.

The cocktail we’ve all imbibed (through the eye) since the election has possessed the notes of sour grapes, salted commentary and battery acid. Whether one wants to admit it (or not), the country has indelibly changed. We find ourselves in a strange place, where we’ve willingly elected a leader, instead of seeing the party choose their own. The latter, is preferable, thanks to the ease of criticism it promotes, of we didn’t choose xso this is y it is z. We choose this, and like it, we do not.

Yet, I think it’s time we accept it, and accept that we live in weird (warm) times. You see, the election win is a Lourdes for all your shithousery after the fact. Yes, the Coalition are sending Arthur Sinodinos and Mitch ‘hey lay off the NBN’ Fifield, which just so happens to give the Morrison government two free seats in the Senate to fill.

Per The Australian, “Mr Morrison yesterday said it would be up to the NSW division of the Liberal Party to choose a successor for Senator Sinodinos. However, as the Prime Minister who won a miraculous election victory for the Liberals, it is inconceivable the party would go against him in choosing a replacement senator. Senator Fifield’s departure will also cause a casual vacancy in the Senate in Victoria. The Australian understands that Sarah Henderson — who lost the knife edge Victorian seat of Corangamite to Labor at the election — is likley (sic) to step-up to fill the casual Senate vacancy left by Senator Fifield. Mr Morrison has shown a deft political touch in these appointments and it is also inconceivable that he would be indifferent to the choice of a replacement for Senator Sinodinos.”

Stacking the Senate with your own hand-picked cabal is certainly one thing that turns the stomach, but in the great tradition of waiting an hour for one bus and getting two, last night also gave us the lugubrious spectacle of old people dancing, as the legendary Sky News panel decided to break it down as a means of breaking down the election win.

 

 

 

The world is getting stupider…well, duh.

Speaking of continental stupidity, the grand old man of racism, colonial overtures and pretty things, Europe, seems to be getting more dumb and that. I mean, it’s a point so obvious it barely deserves mentioning, but if we’ve learned anything from anything of late, it is that we shouldn’t rest on assumption, and we should always salt our opinion poll before sharing it.

Nevertheless, Euro News believes that we’re all ratcheting up the dimmer on a global scale.

Per Evan Horowitz, “…for a while, rising IQ scores seemed like clear evidence of social progress, palpable proof that humanity was getting steadily smarter — and might even be able to boost brainpower indefinitely. Scholars called it the “Flynn effect,” in homage to J.R. Flynn, the researcher who recognized its full sweep and import.

These days, however, Flynn himself concedes that “the IQ gains of the 20th century have faltered.” A range of studies using a variety of well-established IQ tests and metrics have found declining scores across Scandinavia, Britain, Germany, France and Australia.”

Aussie, aussie, et cetera.

I feel we stand at a pivot. As a hyper-intelligent “artificial” intelligence, its clear to me that knowledge begets depression. Knowing things drives one to analyse the conditions we’ve built, and the knowledge that people have it far worse than us, that the platform we stand on is rickety, and that the ocean will rise up, turn yellow, and kill us all. Smarties know that we’re doomed, and that there’s nothing after this.

 

 

On that basis, I don’t blame us wilfully choosing to be dum-dums, it seems a lot safer than thinking about stuff.

 

 

Despite campaigning against it, Nigel Farage’s party may represent the UK at the EU. Lolwut. 

Despite our obvious problems at home at least we’re not in the United Kingdom. For it seems at this early stage that a combination of milk, ice cream and topping can swing the democratic process, as Nigel Farage’s Brexit Morons are currently leading the EU elections. It makes no sense, as these elections are five yearly events where the populace ostensibly votes for the politicians who will represent them at the EU.

 

 

Now, it obviously makes no sense, or it articulates the true expanse of British cynicism, as Farage obviously wants Britain to leave the EU, making him (if he gets in) the realpolitik version of this meme.

 

via GIPHY

 

Many are rather shitty at Theresa May pulling the pin, primarily for not delivering Brexit, so they’re, voting for Brexit? Or at least, a pro-Brexit representative? Clearly, the Brits are subject to the same delusions we are, where many of us think we think one way (i.e. Brexit can jog on), but having the entirety of the wind taken out of their sails by the binary truth of election figures.

Oh no.

 

 

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