- Victoria, despite everything – we’re almost through this
- The $3.5 billion investment in the NBN is not an upgrade
- TikTok’s latest trend involves straightening your own teeth, dentists revolt
- Our citizenship test relies on the vagaries of ‘Australian values’ and multiple choice
- “We respect the tradition”: Police offer weak rebuke over Shore School muck-up day
While you’ve been asleep, Labor decided to copy the Coalition’s playbook, the Vengaboys fought fascists with a drum machine and Barnaby Joyce continued to birth irony.
Albo’s Labor can’t beat ’em, decides to join them on off-shore processing/the rich end of town.
There’s a lot (maybe too much) analysis as to why Labor lost the ‘unlosable’ election. Maybe Bill was the victim of a curse, bearing the wrath of a coven that he chose to ignore, maybe the candidate’s apathy spread to the electorate, and maybe Queensland just hates union bosses who leave their post to become bigshots in the high falootin’ world of Canberran diplomacy. What ’bout the Iron Fracking mine in Thalidomide, Bill?
For my money, it was a lack of difference that killed the beast, as Bill decided to quietly agree with Scott Morrison’s jingoistic nonsense too many times. A grand example would be the extremely insensitive Captain Cook reunion tour, which would see a replica Endeavour tour around the sites of this new land they called Australia and shot all the people they found on it. Bill initially agreed, professing his love for our Anglo-Saxon whatever before deciding to criticise Morrison’s “Captain Cook fetish”. That was one of the many free kicks squandered. The only real fire we saw was the Daily Telegraph’s decision to pick on his mum. But that was about it.
Clearly, they’ve not learned their lesson, as the new Labor government has tasked Kristina Keneally to take down Peter Dutton…using the exact same policy the Coalition is using to solve/enable/continue our culture of off-shore processing.
.@AlboMP ‘s decision to introduce a Shadow Home Affairs portfolio sends a clear message that Labor will ensure Australians are kept safe. Labor fully supports offshore processing, boat turnbacks where safe to do so, and regional resettlement.
— Kristina Keneally (@KKeneally) June 2, 2019
That’s not a shadow, KK. That’s a mirror.
Oh, and there’s also this:
— john wrenay ramsey (@macaulaybalkan) May 30, 2019
The Vengaboys debut new sound, planting them firmly in 2019.
The lords of the noughties underage dancefloor, The Vengaboys, are known for many a good thing. They supply information regarding the route of the mass transit that bears their name, they motivated our trips to Ibiza and they brought education into our adolescent bedrooms, giving us unrealistic standards of sexual stamina.
However, it seems that they’re also down with killing fascists, as they were snapped rocking an anti-fascist flag at a recent concert, a concert apparently held to celebrate the booting out of Austria’s conservative government. A greater microcosm of 2019 in a solitary sentence there could not be. The Vengaboys are ANTIFA aligned. Dearie me.
If you want to split hairs, yes, the flag is technically being waved by someone behind the band, but the important point is that it wasn’t taken down, and the official Venga-vid kept it in.
— Vengaboys (@vengaboys) May 30, 2019
Perhaps this stops us from addressing the larger issue, in that the Vengabus has veered to the far-left shoulder on the highway of discourse. Perhaps a true domination of the dancefloor will only be achieved when we bust moves against remotivated fascism. What we have, is momentum. All we need to do is get Irish paramilitary types The Corrs to take up arms, and we’ll be in business.
Barnaby Joyce welcomes second child, Israel Folau yet to comment.
As you read this, perhaps over breakfast, one should think of Barnaby Joyce, and the second of his kin birthed into this world via the sexual machinations of his partner, Vikki Campion. Congratulations, Barn. Mazel all your Tovs, et cetera. However, a fertilised egg is barely news, but it’s a half-baked segue into Joyce’s other pet project he forced into existence, his Folau-inspired religious freedom laws.
Ostensibly birthed to avoid another “Israel Folau case”, Joyce is looking to give legal protections to the views of Folau and his ilk (in this example, Folau’s assertions that gay people and fornicators will go to hell), “What Folau said is that a certain group of actions will, in his view, take you to hell,” Mr Joyce said, before adding “…to sack someone for their view about how you arrive at a metaphysical place is kind of bizarre…if he had said ‘if you do these actions, you’ll be sent to a fairy garden at the bottom of a hill’, is there still the same right to sack him?”
Which makes about as much sense as it doesn’t, which makes even less sense when you consider Israel Folau’s initial post that commenced all the trouble.
Note please, the third point of Folau’s warning:
Number three is you, Barnaby.