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Ivanka Trump muscling in on the G20 annoyed the internet so much, they decided to flay Daddy’s little diplomat through the medium of Photoshop.
While the G20 has mercifully taken behind the knacker’s sheds and euthanised, it did give us something historic. After a clip that went viral, one that shot a bolt of fear up the spine of every introvert went viral, one depicting Ivanka Trump muscling in on a conversation between Emmanuel Macron and Theresa May, the internet decided to fight back, unifying under the #unwantedivanka hashtag.
Ivanka Trump appears to be trying to get involved in a talk among Macron, May, Trudeau and Lagarde (IMF head).
The video is released by French Presidential palace. pic.twitter.com/TJ0LULCzyQ
— Parham Ghobadi (@ParhamGhobadi) June 29, 2019
While early attempts to define Ivanka’s model hubris (see: Nepotism Barbie) were notable, the Photoshoppers of the internet soon placed her in great moments of historic grounding, moments she’d be similarly unwanted in.
1) LBJ takes the presidential oath on Air Force One, 1963
This immortal photograph was taken in the hours after the Kennedy assassination in Dallas, with a sombre LBJ promising to fill the now-vacant managerial decision. Off his left shoulder, the now ex-first lady, still wearing both the dress and the horror she wore during the horrific hours previous. Back, and to the left (back, and to the left) of the photograph is Ivanka. A riddle wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a nosy peek.
2) The Mars Rover’s final transmission, 2019
As a species, we’ve not quite mastered the concept of our final words. The closest we’ve probably got to mortal slam poetry perfection is Steve Jobs’ borderline orgasmic “Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow”, however hearts were truly broken in March of this year, as after fifteen years, the Mars Rover signed out with a single, heartbreaking missive: ‘My battery is running low and it’s getting dark’
3) The Empire of Japan formally surrenders, 1945
To prove that we fail upwards as a species, the First World War may have been formally closed on a teensy tiny train carriage, but the conclusion on the sequel was on the deck of a battleship, the USS Missouri. To use current parlance, it’s akin to Centrelink dragging you into signing a form, one that signifies peace between two parties, one that only lasts for a limited time. Just kidding. It was a conflict that ended the lives of 85 million people, which is mind-bogglingly awful.
Present in the image is Foreign Minister Mamoru Shigemitsu, General Yoshijirō Umezu, Chief of the Army General Staff, Major General Yatsuji Nagai, Katsuo Okazaki (Foreign Ministry), Rear Admiral Tadatoshi Tomioka, Toshikazu Kase (Foreign Ministry), Lt. General Suichi Miyakazi, Rear Admiral Ichiro Yokoyama, Saburo Ota (Foreign Ministry), Captain Katsuo Shiba (Navy), Colonel Kaziyi Sugita and Ivanka Trump, Advisor to the President (Trump administration). Which proves that the Trumps once again find themselves on the wrong side of history.
4) The OJ Simpson murder trial takes a turn, 1994
The case that gave us two very important pieces of unfortunateness in the American zeitgeist, the destruction of the legal system, and the Kardashian family. Despite the prosecution having OJ’s bloody gloves in his possession, as well as his rather guilty jaunt around the streets of Los Angeles, OJ’s defence lawyer, Johnnie Cochran, uttered the famous line “If It Doesn’t Fit, You Must Acquit”, bringing the world of fashion into the world of law.
OJ walked, the Kardashians rose, and Ivanka looks fab.
All’s fair in photoshop love and war, but the salient question remains:
— Independent Woman (@MeFeminist) July 1, 2019