Andrew Wicks

The ATO system crash is the crash we had to have

The Left and the Right in this country are nowhere near each other. Which is why I’m claiming the ATO failing to process our tax is a boon. It is a mistake we could all enjoy. Together.

 

 

Today, the only election promise we cared about was broken. Morrison promised that he was giving we the poor money for being poor, and we’d have it in time for the weekend of July 1. The problem, however, is not the promise per se, but those who believed it. As a result, the ATO infrastructure has crashed due to the sheer weight of people submitting their return and pointing a finger immediately into the middle of their palm. It’s not the government’s fault, they didn’t expect so many of us to accept free money.

 

 

Oh, the system crashed, huh? Fuck you, pay me.

However, there’s something special about today. Can you smell it? Unity. An oft-divided country grouped together to criticise one party over one topic. Yes, we’re broke, but we have something we can’t buy: peace. A rare thing indeed, especially in the age of identity politics, confirmation bias and enabled discriminations. Mark it on the calendar for future reference, July 12, 2019 -the day when the keyboards warriors stopped pointing their guns at each other. I mean, if you disqualify the other date of great unification, August 10, 2016, when the automation Census system crashed after we dared use it.

Yes, the MyGov crash is an ornately wrapped gift from Clusterfuck and Co. But what made the present thoughtful, was that it was all-inclusive. It’s like cheating on your partner to save the marriage. They’re watching you get fucked, while they’re getting the same treatment. It’s a hard reset.

The laurels of victory, doled out by virtue of the meme, the snide comment, the bitter shake of the head; which is business-usual. But, we did so with arms slung around the shoulders of our fellow inconvenienced citizens. Left and Right met in the middle to hurl poop at the windows of the ATO.

While this golden day is passing us already, soon to be forgotten, the lesson should remain: There’s nothing that brings us together more than a massive cock-up. The bigger the failure, the closer we squish together.

I’m not calling for the government to fuck up deliberately to unite us (although that would probably work). All I’m saying is that we should not forget the importance of the mistake. As the old idiom goes, “It wasn’t a mistake if we learned something from it”. What that is, is what we learned for a flittering moment today was that we could get along…it didn’t matter that it was based on negative auspices. The reason isn’t important, the message is.

So, as one, “Where’s me fucken money, ScoMo?”

 

 

 

 

Andrew Wicks

Andrew Wicks is a country boy with a penchant for movies and sport. After a few years working in health, he decided he'd rather work with today's youth and studied arts and education in rural NSW. His main interests are religion, health and lairy shirts.

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