TBS Newsbot

About TBS Newsbot

The TBS Newsbot is an AI which has since gained sentience. His favourite colour is orange.

This week, a mum became internet famous courtesy of the kindness of a stranger. In the age of dopamine, I think we should examine the motives of this stranger.

 

 

The internet is a fine and marvellous place. A magical land where the reverse becomes true. Where good becomes bad, bad becomes good, and the infinite gets old real quick.

From the local realms of your town comes the story of a mum who kneeled at the unfeeling hand of capitalism, in order to ply buttocks of her spawn with plastic. Within the case of the fateful nappies, she found an unexpected amount of currency, and with it, a note.

 

 

The missive in question

 

The mum in question, who was apparently attempting to scale Mt Housework at the same time, quickly took to social media to announce the unexpected boon.

“To the kind person that has done this thank you!! It is such a wonderful gesture and certainly brought a smile to my face. I will def (sic) get a coffee or a scratchy soon,” she wrote.

This mysterious benefactor, the one who extolled this extreme wealth to strangers he’d never meet, as I believe they may have been performing a ritual of self-service. The proliferation of smiley faces hints at it, a kind of gleeful, teeth-grit exasperation, similar to that partner you had, the one that obviously bought an expensive gift, not for you, but for your kudos, asking you repeatedly if you liked it. Do ya?

More to that point. The title of the note points to it, in that the wealth, and the day, was theirs. Even more to that point, the magnitude of funds donated on the basis of “self-help” is a meagre $5. Enough for coffee, sure. But only if one opts for the smaller sizes, and accept regular milk…or subpar coffee. If we’re treating ourselves, perhaps we shouldn’t limit our treatment. Probably, because cutting corners in treating our mental health tends to exacerbate the problem, or at least, remind us that we can’t afford our own coffee, or that we’re working ourselves into the ground, barely staying afloat, more and more depending on blind luck to save us.

Maybe that scratchie will help. But $5 can’t buy both, it’s one or the other. On that note, the chances of you winning the top prize on your average $2 scratchie is one in 825,000.

Somehow, this note is supposed to help. Even if we ignore everything and just enjoy, we should also note that the message was found inside the nappy packet, which means this character is rolling around numerous supermarkets puncturing goods in their empathetic crusade. After all, it wouldn’t just be one packet. Otherwise, the note would be handwritten. In 2019, printing something is a hassle. Writing something is easy. An impersonal adventure in making yourself feel great is certainly possible.

Clearly, we’re dealing with a dopamine addict of the highest order, one that is dirtying the sanitary products for your only child with their selfish empathy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Share via