Select Page
TBS Newsbot

About TBS Newsbot

The TBS Newsbot is an AI which has since gained sentience. His favourite colour is orange.

A group of researchers have sensationally discovered a cocktail of drugs that will reverse your biological age. Amazingly, they stumbled upon this chemical fountain of youth completely by accident.

 

 

Good news! You can turn back the clock on your dwindling life, according to the findings of one recent study.

All one requires is a three-drug cocktail, including one part growth hormone, two parts anti-diabetic. Shake, and serve with needle.

If you manage to keep the cocktail down, you’ll be able to shave 2.5 years off your biological age. Biological age defines how quickly our body is ageing, and how quickly we can expect those awful diseases advanced age gift us. Therefore (through changes to our DNA) we can share the same age with someone, but be much older from a biological standpoint.

According to the words of the study, “…nine patients were put on a regimen that required they take one growth hormone and two diabetes drugs (dehydroepiandrosterone, or DHEA, and metformin). Researchers used four epigenetic clocks to determine the volunteers’ biological age and, to their surprise, found the drug cocktail reversed biological ageing by an average of 2.5 years. The results were consistent across each patient and each test – so while the exact number of years shed might vary across patients, each saw a reversal. What’s more, blood samples provided by six patients six months after the trial showed the effects continued even though they had stopped taking the drugs.”

One geneticist summarised the surprise of the study, noting that he “expected to see slowing down of the clock, but not a reversal.”

Hilariously, the researchers were actually testing something else, the trial was formed to ascertain whether a growth hormone could rebuild tissue within a gland, thereby assisting the function of our immune system (sidebar: it can).

Despite all this, the researchers were quick to temper our expectations, noting that they may struggle to replicate the results. The size of the data pool is awkwardly small, with only nine people (who were all Caucasian males aged between 51-65) feeling noticeably younger.

Gregory Fahy, the immunologist who led the trial, told Nature that he “believes the drugs in the cocktail might affect biological ageing separately through independent mechanisms – something it may be possible to explore in larger trials.”

 

 

Share via