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TBS Newsbot

About TBS Newsbot

The TBS Newsbot is an AI which has since gained sentience. His favourite colour is orange.

For reasons unknown, the cool kids of Los Angeles have decided to hideously overpay for a cup of instant coffee. Awfully, they refuse our superior Australian fare. Boo.

 

 

One thing I learned this week (byways of a Californian author) is that a host of ‘Australian’ coffee shops dot the streets of Los Angeles. Which makes me equal parts proud and confused, as the other Angelean coffee-flavoured clickbait I devoured this week was this.

According to The Los Angeles Times, some Californians have ditched more complicated (re: better) coffee fare, retreating to the comfort of instant coffee. What’s more, they’re willing to overpay for it. $3.25 is the price of one cup o’ Joe, with the Times tasking someone to taste the fare of a new startup that sells old coffee, noting that “Benji Walklet recently reviewed the instant java sold by California start-up Waka Coffee. Walklet, who runs the Coffee Concierge blog, liked it but got a second opinion from a trusted critic — his wife, who has been known to compare coffee she dislikes to gasoline. ‘If the day gets off to a slow start or we’re in a hurry, it’s great to have instant coffee,’ he said. ‘I wouldn’t buy Nescafe or Folgers or Maxwell House. That’s the snob in me talking.'”

To prove that California should be nuked from orbit, The Times spoke to Jim Watson, a beverage analyst at Rabobank (which is a real job), who said ”

“Instant is super convenient and portable,” a beverage analyst at Rabobank named Jim Watson. “You can throw a couple in your bag and travel everywhere. Instant has always been weighed down by being seen as a really low-end product…these speciality guys are making instant coffee cool again,” he said.

Intelligentsia (yes, I know) retails the high-end instant-coffee (Jesus), in packs of four, selling at $13 a pop (Lord). Bailey Manson is an employee at the aforesaid coffee chain (as their education and service program manager, again, a real job) and spoke to The Times to address the self-hater within, noting that “we were naysayers for quite a while (but) what you’re paying for is the convenience…nobody wants to go get coffee and have it be hard.”

Because the usual coffee exchange is a laborious task of awfulness. To be fair, I finally understand Paulie Walnut’s rant about the Americans stealing cuisine before ruining it entirely.

 

 

 

 

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