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‘Super spy’ Alexander Downer named as new 007

After baiting the FBI into the White House, and drawing the ire of Donald Trump, Hollywood has come knocking for Alexander Downer.



Eon Productions have ended years of gossip and rumours, sensationally naming Australian diplomat Alexander Downer as the man to replace Daniel Craig as 007.

In a prepared statement, a spokesperson from the company defended their choice, commending Downer for his authenticity, noting that “Alexander is a real-life super-spy, making him the obvious choice to play one on the big screen.”

Downer recently shot to prominence by kicking off the Mueller inquiry over purported Russian meddling in the 2016 US election, drawing the ire of Donald Trump, and the bark of his lapdog, Scott Morrison.

The spokesperson noted Downer’s almost baseless suspicion of the Russians, noting that it is “very on-brand for James Bond…blaming the Russians is in 007’s DNA.”



The move has drawn criticism from the Hollywood elite, as established actors were denied the chance to play the iconic spy, with many (rightfully) pointing to Downer’s lack of acting experience.

A spokesperson from Downer’s office responded to those claims, stating that “Mr Downer has substantial experience, as he was the acting leader of the Liberal Party for eight months between 1994 and 1995.”




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