Morrison to concrete remaining trees to protect nation from bushfires

In an effort to stop another hellish bushfire season, Scott Morrison has ordered the immediate rendering of all remaining forested areas.

 

 

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has ordered the immediate concreting of all Australian forests in an attempt to avoid a repeat of the devastating fires that have ravaged the country since November 2019.

“The fires won’t have a go if we don’t give them a go” noted a fatigued Morrison desperate to regain the trust of the Quiet Australians and deliver on his promise that Australia could increase greenhouse gas emissions without worsening the current fire season.

 

The project will be headed by National Careers Ambassador, Scott Cam, and will be sponsored by some of Australia’s largest miners.

 

To expedite the project, Morrison is planning to merge the newly formed Department of Agriculture, Water and the Environment and Industry with the Department of Science, Energy and Resources, thereby creating a mega department to be known as the Department of the Preservation of Clean Coal.

“Throw in Arts and Social Services and we end up with an army of desperate Newstart volunteers at our disposal!” added Morrison.

The project will be headed by National Careers Ambassador, Scott Cam, and will be sponsored by some of Australia’s largest miners.

 

 

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