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America actor deprograms member of notorious british cult

For a hundred years, few have been able to escape the notorious cult of Windsor. However, a woman named Meghan has changed all that.

 

 

The notorious (and mysterious) Cult of Windsor dates back to the start of the twentieth century, but the exclusionist organisation (also known as the British Royal Family) has stood in one form or another for millennia.

History has taken a left turn today, as the sixth in line for the “throne” (a title awarded by blood, one that has no real value, save for the possessing the gigantic wealth the organisation is said to possess) has decided to leave the cult and enter the real world.

Known as only as “Harry” (the cult relies on mononyms for identification), he has publically announced that he could no longer be a “silent witness” to the “fuckery of the court”.

While instances of incest, grooming teenage brides and suspicions of paedophilia have been levelled at the collective recently, they’re also rumoured to murder anyone who dares to leave.

The hero of this story is a woman named Meghan Markle, who gave up the warmth and comfort of a recurring role in television to enter the murky underworld of the Windsor family and rescue Harry.

 

To complete her task, she took the extraordinary step of marrying her way into the cult, enduring racism, sexism and “British exceptionalism”, a unique condition that the family possesses.

 

To complete her task, she took the extraordinary step of marrying her way into the cult, enduring racism, sexism and “British exceptionalism”, a unique condition that the family possesses.

Via a statement, Meghan expressed regret, noting that she wanted to save other members of the cult; but expressed delight at being able to bring Harry home to America. Harry said that he was most looking forward to “eating with his hands” and wearing t-shirts “espousing ribald sentiment”.

Buckingham Palace (the gaudy gilded HQ of the cult) had released a statement denying that the Windsor family ever contained a member named Harry.

 

 

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