Patent answers the great ‘over’ versus ‘under’ toilet paper debate

The correct way to hang the toilet paper roll has threatened relationships for over a century. Finally, we have the answer, but is it too late? Are we ready for double-ply peace?



It’s been a question since time immemorial. Ever since we stopped using our hands, the correct way to hang a fresh roll of toilet paper has been one of great debate. Well, when I mean debate I mean shouting at each other from their predispositions and never budging from it. It’s been one that has landed many domestic relationships into the proverbial matter if it was invented to sweep up, and it has flushed numerous “academics” to the triple-ply world of university tenure.

Despite it being the future, and yes, the robots are coming to kill us, we continue to ponder this pickle.

So, where does one stand (or sit) on this? Is thou a follower of the over-orientation, or the under-orientation?

For those who answered the latter, you are incorrect, according to documentation from a century back. Australian publication Choice discovered the original bog scroll, depicting the correct way to hang loo paper in their device called the S. Wheeler ‘Wrapping or Toilet Paper Roll’, which happened to be over, not under.

As the design has basically not changed since that original patent 128 years ago, consider it the definite article.



Considering violence will now run in the streets like an errant Vindaloo, it’s best we arm ourselves with some sense before the shit goes down. Yes, this is tangible evidence that proves one way over the other. This doesn’t make the other way completely defunct. It is just based on lies, and those who supported the false prophet are still the people you know, they were just misled. And stupid. But that doesn’t mean you should give them a hard time about it. Much.




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