In an effort to keep up with the times, Mattel has introduced a new line of Barbies whose parents have ‘done their research’.



Today, Mattel announced a new line of Barbies today to much fanfare among conspiracy theorists: the anti-vaccine Barbie.

There will be 4 dolls in total: Measles Barbie, Mumps Barbie, Rubella Barbie and Polio Barbie (complete with a wheelchair).

“We are really hoping to corner the market on the science illiterate,” said Mattel Spokesman Ken Rothwell. “We know a lot of anti-vaccers are actually fairly wealthy as well as fairly stupid. In a nutshell, the perfect consumer.”

The controversy surrounding the dolls is around the fact that random dolls will be filled with samples of the viruses or bacteria. This has several public health experts worried and crying foul, while anti-vaccers are excited about the idea.

“This is great! Now my little angel can play with a doll AND get natural immunity to potentially life-threatening infections,” said Sherry McCarthy, wealthy idiot. “I’m picking up Polio Barbie today on the way home from work.”

So far the dolls are selling especially well in California.





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