The nation has had enough of Scott Morrison inflaming China, begging the People’s Republic to pick him up immediately.



As Scott Morrison continues to demand an apology from China over a tweet that alluded to the war crimes our troops committed in Afghanistan, a weary nation has spoken to the People’s Republic directly in order to solve the problem diplomatically.

The citizens spearheading the diplomatic cable want the sitting Prime Minister ‘to do a Harry Holt’, which according to one advocate, would mean that the country would send one of their submarines to return Scott Morrison to mainland China.

The Big Smoke spoke to Reg, who, prior to the interview, was busy lighting flares on Portsea Beach.

“Look, they did it in 1967 for Harry Holt…all we’re asking is them to do us a solid,” Reg said.

Reg was quick to point out that 1983 book The Prime Minister was a Spy, which suggested that Holt was a lifelong spy for the Chinese government, before faking his own death and boarding a submarine to spend rest of his life in Beijing, was a matter of fact, not fiction.

“A journalist wrote that book, and he was held captive by the Chinese, why would he lie?”, Reg planted, while rhythmically flicking his torch on and off at the seemingly empty horizon.

“It doesn’t have to be here, just tell us a time and a place, and we’ll make sure he’s there,” concluded Reg.





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