With a hairdresser and stretch limousine on standby, Joe Exotic’s legal team are confident that Donald Trump will pardon him. Yeah, right.

 

 

“We are 100% sure today is our day”, so says the lawyer of Joe Exotic, the star of the Tiger King documentary, and individual convicted of attempted murder and numerous animal cruelty charges. Mr Exotic expects to be pardoned by Donald Trump before he leaves office. To prove it, he’s ordered a stretch limousine to pick him up from Fort Worth prison.

 

 

According to Ken Molestina of CBS, Exotic’s people are “waiting on a call from the White House confirming the presidential pardon.”

Eric Love, the lawyer of Joe Exotic, is “absolutely confident that we are going to receive the pardon”, noting that he “worked very hard on it”. To dip further into the shale of delusion, Love confirmed that there will a hairdresser and makeup artist on stand-by to make sure he looks his best.

He said: “Joe’s biggest thing is that he can’t wait to get out as you can imagine, and he doesn’t want anyone to see him until his hair is done. He hasn’t had his hair done in two-and-a-half years. That’s the first order of business. Then we’ll probably go and get some pizzas, steak, maybe a McRib.”

The question, of course, is why the White House would bother.

Exotic was charged with 17 counts of animal abuse (eight violations of the Lacey Act and nine of the Endangered Species Act) and two counts of attempted murder, after plotting to kill Big Cat Rescue CEO (and cartoonish antagonist), Carole Baskin.

According to Love, the pardon will happen because he thinks “the president has sided with us and I believe it will take most of the limelight away from president-elect Joe Biden.”

As it stands, the Trump administration is yet to respond to the request, in any way, shape or form. If only the outgoing president had Twitter.

Shame.

 

 

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