In order to alleviate the pressure on Christian Porter, Scott Morrison has placed him on ‘light duties’ making him the new Minister for Women.



Scott Morrison has reshuffled his Cabinet overnight in an attempt to alleviate the mounting pressure on under-sieged, Christian Porter.

“After speaking to my empathy coach, I’ve decided to place Christian on light duties so he can take it easy for a while. He can run the Ministry for Women from his home.” Morrison told a packed media conference yesterday.

The move allows the Prime Minister to make further adjustments to his Cabinet including appointing Barnaby Joyce as Minister for Defence.

“It was important that we have someone running the Department that understands the internal culture of the place” stated Morrison, adding that; “Linda Reynolds’ sensitivity and attention to detail is better suited in Foreign Affairs.”

It also believed that Marise Payne’s long absences from the public spotlight have earned her the Health Portfolio and Greg Hunt’s passion for public broadcasting the Ministry for Communications, Urban Infrastructure, Cities and the Arts.

“I told my staff that the PM would give me a leftie portfolio” boasted Hunt, “and I look forward to working with Sky News to address the current issues imbalance.”

Marisa Payne wasn’t available for comment.

Craig Kelly’s dedication to defending freedom-of-speech has earned him a recall to the inner sanctum of the Liberal Party and is expected to be appointed as Porter’s replacement as Attorney-General.

“I know Craig has caused controversy recently’ noted Morrison, ‘but with nearly 100,000 Facebook followers, he remains the loudest voice for the Quiet Australians!”

The Prime Minister hopes to end several weeks mired in community anger and dissatisfaction over his response to claims of sexual abuse by Liberal colleagues and the findings of the Royal Commission into Aged Care.

The new Cabinet will be sworn in on Monday.




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