In a parallel universe, where the anti-vaxxers were proven right, Freedom Day was just a little bit different.
On Freedom Day we all held hands and marched to Freedom Park, where those old enough to remember, told eager young ears about the early days of the ‘Plandemic’. They spoke about the weird times when people hid in fear from something they couldn’t even see.
The ol’ timer took a drag of his vape, blowing fragrant plumes of ‘baccy into the eyes of the children, “They couldn’t even see this thing, and they thought it was killing them. Not only that, they thought this thing they couldn’t see, this terrible monstrous thing,” and he waved his arms about his head like he was a monster, “could be stopped by placing a piece of tissue paper over your mouth and nose.”
The children looked at each other in disbelief, their eyes wide, their mouths open and laughed.
A small child with sweet swollen lymph glands in her neck, and a nasty nasal discharge said, “Wow, the Sheeple were stupid back then.”
“Yes, they were,” said the ol’ timer. And the children laughed and laughed. Then one of them coughed, and four of them fell over, while another one with rickety legs rolled down a hill into the recently dug death pit.
It was a day of fun and games and simple pleasures.
Four gigantic lead and bronze statues stood at each corner of Freedom Square. The Four Horsemen of the Ivermectin Apocalypse (Pauline, Pete, Craig and Matt – good strong white people names) had been commemorated for their valour.
There was the ‘Faking of the Vaccine Passports’ and ‘Pin the Mask on the Sheeple’. But the most fun was the era-defining ‘Punching of the Police Horse’. Or, as the ol’ timers put it, ‘The Equine Love Tap’. Older children loved re-creating this iconic image from the time of the war. While smaller children found joy punching out a Shetland Pony. For the weaker kids, with stunted frames and rheumy eyes, a saddle (which was really a wicker basket) had been placed on the back of a Labrador.
Freedom Park was only the beginning of the Freedom precincts. To the right (of course!) was The Avenue of the Freedoms, which lead the milling crowds past the Freedom Rockeries and Freedom Wall to the Sculpture Park of Freedom and finally to the glorious pinnacle of Freedom related town planning – Freedom Square. Organisers laid out clearly defined paths, which all attendees had to follow, with white directional Freedom arrows.
Four gigantic lead and bronze statues stood at each corner of Freedom Square. The Four Horsemen of the Ivermectin Apocalypse (Pauline, Pete, Craig and Matt – good strong white people names) had been commemorated for their valour. Children were encouraged by their parents and guardians to lick the hooves of the horses or rub Pauline’s giant toes for good luck.
And they all did.
Those kids who were still mobile and not overcome by tiredness, fever, vomiting, headaches or crippling muscle contractions, hobbled beside the floats, their faces beaming with happiness. They were so beautiful with their monstrously swollen saliva glands and lumpy faces. Young mothers held their infants tightly in their arms, and the sounds of their babies coughing could be heard from miles away. “At least,” the mother’s said, “If we can hear them coughing, we know they’re still with us.”
— The Big Smoke (@TheBigSmokeAU) September 19, 2021
By jingo, it was a beautiful day. But, like all good things, it had to end.
As the sun began to set the happy folk said farewell to the heroes of 2021. Families huddled together as they left Freedom Square, making sure they took any children with them who’d survived the day.
Then, something truly beautiful happened.
A pretty little girl with yellow skin, skin so yellow even the whites of eyes were yellow, said “We need to thank the original Anti-Vaxxers for giving us our Freedoms and allowing us to do whatever we want, whenever we want. Except for, you know, having vaccines.”
Everyone thought it was really lovely for someone to think of someone else. There was a word for that, but no one could remember it, because it hadn’t happened for such a long, long time.
But sadly, despite a worldwide search, the original Anti-Vaxxers proved incredibly elusive.
Many writers postulated on social media they did not seek fame or fortune for their actions, their reward was setting us free, and they’d returned to their quiet lives. But the fact remains – none of the original Anti-Vaxxers could be found. For some strange, inexplicable reason in the first five years of the 2020s, many of them had died.
No one has ever discovered why. It remains a mystery. But many people, good people, really respected people, who do their own research, are saying it was all part of the Global Government Conspiracy.
What other explanation could there be?