The newly unemployed Tony Abbott has railed against the welfare system, wondering how they could possibly leave him on hold for so long.
Israel Folau quits rubgy…to represent One Nation
Israel Folau has jumped the gun, quitting before Rugby Australia can sack him, sensationally choosing to enter politics as One Nation’s latest candidate.
Gladys relaxes lockout laws to accomodate her election party
To celebrate her momentous win, Gladys Berejiklian has vowed to party long into the night, promising her constituents that they’ll be able to get a drink beyond 3 am.
JK Rowling’s next book will be a list of who is banging who
Sick of internet conjecture, JK Rowling has announced that her next book will just be a list of who is doing who…and how.
Inmates prepare cutlery for Pell’s welcome party
The news of George Pell’s conviction has the populace of one Victorian prison rushing to welcome him in the proper fashion.
Matthew Flinders returns from the grave to doubt ScoMo
This morning, Matthew Flinders was found, and was found to have some strong words for Scott Morrison’s plan to honour Captain Cook.
Queen restores absolute monarchy after Brexit no-confidence vote
In an extraordinary move, Queen Elizabeth II has returned herself to power after “having enough” of Brexit.
It’s time the major NSW parties raised their game in selecting premiers
Fake news correspondent, Cec Pitt, discusses whether the major NSW parties are applying sufficient due care and attention to selecting candidates for the state’s top job.
Shorten’s wife writes: The thing about Bill in case you haven’t noticed
Chloe Shorten writes exclusively for Fake News on what it is about her husband Bill that encourages people to take so little notice of him.
Following Abbott, Gorbachev congratulates himself for stable government
After Tony Abbott congratulated himself for the formation of his stable government, the last leader of the Soviet Union followed suit.
The Prime Ministership: A job worth planning an assassination over
Cec Pitt, one of the greatest natural talents in fake news, discusses the vital role of political assassination in a modern democracy.
The Coalition accentuates the NEG, settles for Mr in-between
Frank Rarely reports from Canberra where the Coalition is deciding whether it should become the world’s first driverless government. NEG vibes be damned.
Climate change? We need political climate change
Cec Poole, an inveterate writer of letters to the Editor, reacts to the latest dire warnings on climate change and ponders what he can do to save the world because politicians don’t seem to be up to it.
The art of Clive’s democratic disruption
The second age of Clive is upon us. To articulate the size of the kangaroo’s scrotum, we sent our best man in with a protractor.
A frank assessment of Pauline’s prospects
Senior Fake News correspondent Frank Rarely discusses the opportunities for populists and masochists alike to join Pauline.
Donald and Kim: A less than disarming couple
Hugo Morthanigo reports from Singapore on the upcoming meeting between Trump and Kim and how the local authorities plan to dispose of the nuclear fallout.
The budget analysis…on a budget
Frank Rarely, Canberra’s most celebrated Fake News correspondent wonders if there’s any merit to the budget whatsoever.
Korea trying to prevent things going North and South with Trump
Park An-go, our Fake News correspondent in Seoul, articulates the thrust of the two Korean leaders, as they both try to navigate the Trump hump.
Prince Charles: Heir today, king tomorrow or: A succession of problems
Tom Peeping, Fake News’ relentless royal watcher, discusses whether there’s any prospect of Charles being heir today and king tomorrow.
Glad handing Sydney’s traffic problems
Flo Stopper, Fake News’ traffic correspondent, analyses whether there’s any chance of George Street recapturing its glory days as a Sydney traffic thoroughfare, and doubts whether Glad has the street-smarts to fix it.
To tamper or not to tamper? Questions facing Malcolm on a turning wicket
With 30 news poll losses around the corner for Malcolm Turnbull, it might be time for him to do what all the cool kids are doing.
The ins and outs of Peter Craig Dutton
In a rather inclusive exclusive, our Fake News cadet sat down with Peter Dutton to discuss her thesis. Make contain traces of falsehoods.