Soon after being told by a court to pay his workers, Clive Palmer has announced a new business venture, buying the Belfast dock that built the Titanic.
Centrelink employs psychic mediums to chase debts beyond the grave
After Centrelink pursued the debt of a dead person, they’ve since decided to hire psychic mediums to chase outstanding debts beyond the grave.
Report: Casual sex is the root cause of climate change
According to a deep study of hard conclusions, scientists believe that sex is the reason why the globe has warmed considerably.
“Our Notre Dame” Clive pledges billions to rebuild the Big Brother house
Emboldened by tragedy, Australia’s premier industrialist has vowed to restore the Big Brother house to “her former glory”.
NSW: A political state short of skilled Labor
The NSW Labor Party’s leaderless operating model is beginning to attract attention from political parties worldwide. I think the Brits are borrowing it for Brexit.
Local influencer contracts radiation sickness after Fukushima photoshoot
It’s all gone wrong for one social media influencer after her photoshoot at Fukushima was spoiled by massive doses of radiation.
Tony Abbott can’t believe how long the Centrelink queue is
The newly unemployed Tony Abbott has railed against the welfare system, wondering how they could possibly leave him on hold for so long.
Israel Folau quits rubgy…to represent One Nation
Israel Folau has jumped the gun, quitting before Rugby Australia can sack him, sensationally choosing to enter politics as One Nation’s latest candidate.
Gladys relaxes lockout laws to accomodate her election party
To celebrate her momentous win, Gladys Berejiklian has vowed to party long into the night, promising her constituents that they’ll be able to get a drink beyond 3 am.
JK Rowling’s next book will be a list of who is banging who
Sick of internet conjecture, JK Rowling has announced that her next book will just be a list of who is doing who…and how.
Inmates prepare cutlery for Pell’s welcome party
The news of George Pell’s conviction has the populace of one Victorian prison rushing to welcome him in the proper fashion.
Matthew Flinders returns from the grave to doubt ScoMo
This morning, Matthew Flinders was found, and was found to have some strong words for Scott Morrison’s plan to honour Captain Cook.
Queen restores absolute monarchy after Brexit no-confidence vote
In an extraordinary move, Queen Elizabeth II has returned herself to power after “having enough” of Brexit.
It’s time the major NSW parties raised their game in selecting premiers
Fake news correspondent, Cec Pitt, discusses whether the major NSW parties are applying sufficient due care and attention to selecting candidates for the state’s top job.
Shorten’s wife writes: The thing about Bill in case you haven’t noticed
Chloe Shorten writes exclusively for Fake News on what it is about her husband Bill that encourages people to take so little notice of him.
Following Abbott, Gorbachev congratulates himself for stable government
After Tony Abbott congratulated himself for the formation of his stable government, the last leader of the Soviet Union followed suit.
The Prime Ministership: A job worth planning an assassination over
Cec Pitt, one of the greatest natural talents in fake news, discusses the vital role of political assassination in a modern democracy.
The Coalition accentuates the NEG, settles for Mr in-between
Frank Rarely reports from Canberra where the Coalition is deciding whether it should become the world’s first driverless government. NEG vibes be damned.
Climate change? We need political climate change
Cec Poole, an inveterate writer of letters to the Editor, reacts to the latest dire warnings on climate change and ponders what he can do to save the world because politicians don’t seem to be up to it.
The art of Clive’s democratic disruption
The second age of Clive is upon us. To articulate the size of the kangaroo’s scrotum, we sent our best man in with a protractor.
A frank assessment of Pauline’s prospects
Senior Fake News correspondent Frank Rarely discusses the opportunities for populists and masochists alike to join Pauline.
Donald and Kim: A less than disarming couple
Hugo Morthanigo reports from Singapore on the upcoming meeting between Trump and Kim and how the local authorities plan to dispose of the nuclear fallout.
