Morrison to concrete remaining trees to protect nation from bushfires
In an effort to stop another hellish bushfire season, Scott Morrison has ordered the immediate rendering of all remaining forested areas.
Westpac addresses laundering scandal: “How good’s the cricket?”
Facing more than 23 million breaches and possible criminal charges, the outgoing CEO of the Westpac Group has fronted the media to discuss the issue.
Abbott promises wind farms run by Muslim LGBT refugees if re-elected
In a bold move, Tony Abbott has promised that Warringah’s new renewable energy source will be operated by those who dislike him. Could work.
Scott Morrison to ask women where the bloody hell they are
In an attempt to woo women back to the Liberal Party, Scott Morrison has offered a fresh twist on the ‘So Where The Bloody Hell Are You” tourism campaign.
Banks apologise for misconduct, offer new fee for customers
It seems that the banks have learned from the Royal Commission, and to prove it, they've instituted a new fee to say sorry. In their most contrite response to the interim findings of the Royal Commission into banking misconduct, Australia's big four banks have moved to ease the pain they have caused customers [...]