I’m starting to believe that the insanity is here to stay. Overnight, the man fired from Google praised the KKK, Donald Trump invented a new country and the dad-bod implant hit the shelves.
Morning, you. Overnight we’ve had a new name batter the Caribbean, Donald Trump Jr giving up his goons and Toys ‘R’ Us filing for bankruptcy.
A brand new identity, a pilot for a defunct reality show and a battle between two gigantic ancient foes headlines the week in #Auspol. What a fine system we have.
Now that Martin Shkreli has lost his freedom, I believe we’ve lost something precious. His commitment to new societal lows will indeed be missed.
Well, hello, controversy. You’re looking…good? Overnight, another Melbourne Council moved against Australia Day, the new Press Sec spoke old words and a millionaire got a pimple.
Overnight, things got a bit silly. Apple got carried away, Ted Cruz has Internet scandal company, a mass of waste destroyed London…’s breakfast.
So, Monday again. While you were dozing, the world got weird. The genocidal robots from Dr Who marched for marriage equality, the US strapped up against a weather front and John McCain faced the media about his cancer.
Hopes dashed, new levels of dank and a stay of execution. It’s been a fairly bleak week. Hello, #Auspol my old friend.
According to the findings of a recent German study, marriage does actually change you for the worse. Soz.
Historic stupidity descended with the historic power of Hurricane Irma, as a billionaire hid out in a wine cellar, a frankly ludicrous tale was debunked and a pet Tiger was shot by American police.
The harsh light of morning makes me sad. Overnight we saw the Socceroos fail to qualify, a celebrity failing life admin and rather flawed argument over a flawed test.
Twitter is currently infested with bots, but no-one is quite sure why. Typically, Donald Trump is front-and-centre to this problem, but local leaders and journalists alike are subject to the same problem. I’m looking at you, Malcolm.
It’s a spitting-out-your-coffee-in-shocked-disgust kind of Monday. The world reacted to North Korea’s hydrogen bomb test, the US discovered a letter from the ex, and one man’s epic journey came to an end.
In response to Hurricane Harvey, JLo took to social media to donate $25,000. Considering what she earns, the Internet was not best pleased. Would you give a comparative amount?
An edited Wiki page, an extremely adult massage and a train of thought momentarily leaving the station all feature in this week’s Mexican hat dance that is Australian politics.
Bless you for not judging us, Thursday. Overnight we attended the rushed wedding of Amazon and Microsoft’s assistants, fears regarding drug testing and the legacy of Terry Pratchett secured. By a steam roller.
Morning! In the hours since we last met, a woman tore into CNN, a Brooklyn hipster’s schadenfreude went viral and GoT S8 was put back until 2019.
Happy Monday. We’ve had yet more moving brutality from Charlottesville, the rising floodwaters in Houston, and the news that a three-year-old shot herself in Sydney. The horror.
#Auspol saw the return of a wobbling gunslinger, the first chapter of a biblical plague and an unheard cry for help. Oh, and a piece of citrus risked drying out. Pretty standard.
I hope your day is filled with the chance of meeting strange animals. As for what’s up, Conor McGregor buttered the toast of perishable news, and a cannibal committed societal suicide.
Hooray for stupidity. Christopher Pyne was quoted out of context, a teenager was arrested for doing the Macarena and Donald Trump’s latest venture is a hit in rural Germany.
A regional candidate has decided to halt the mudslinging once and for all, penning an oath to promise that he’ll never again unfairly criticise his opponents on social media. Best of luck, bucko.