Monday morning. We’re opening the week with a flower that smells like death, because tabloid journalism. Also, science can now draw water from the most desert-like conditions with a device no bigger than a tissue box.
Tony embraced millennial life advice, satire was bested with Nazi paraphernalia and Centrelink’s awkward nickname was revealed. What a week in #AusPol.
This morning, we focus solely on the positive. We’ve had an artificial womb keep a lamb alive, a potential cure for Parkinson’s and the date for Wes Anderson’s next film.
The morning after a public holiday. Why? While you were dreaming of a way out, Marine Le Pen quit her party, Cory Bernardi built his, and M Night Shyamalan returned to form.
The rise of Marine Le Pen, Victoria taking the fun out the drive-by and the confirmation of a wave of Avatar sequels. Probably best you go back to bed, pumpkin.
Mike Pence dropped in to see if we were still friends, Alien life may be a reality on the moons of Saturn and Matt Damon was zinged beyond the grave. What a week.
Some particularly rough #AusPol discourse, stolen identities and a metamorphosis into an inanimate object. Move over, Juarez, here comes Canberra.
Today’s theme is death. Hooray! We’ve had NK celebrate a birthday with an odd gift, a fall from grace completed in prison and Adidas joined the marketing gaffe trend.
Morning! What happened while you were asleep? Well, Theresa May Brexit-proofed her reelection, we know what jobs can no longer be worked on the 457 and a Centrelink office caught fire in Frankston.
The first day back at work. Oh, dear. As for what you’ve missed: Pence vowed NK to pay price, Rage aged well and artistic demigod Rhianna wowed Coachella. Sarcasm abounds.
Morning! It was an historic evening as Berkeley saw another bloody demonstration, Bernie Sanders’ legacy was ruined and a one-note song played its part in a referendum.
Yes, Donald Trump dropped the largest bomb since WW2 on Afghanistan, but the target was not ISIS as reported.
The rebirth of a true artist, the selling of one’s soul for sashimi, and the death of tradition, all serious, all present this week in #Auspol. So, who won? No-one you dolts.
Over in Alabama, the Senate has okayed a police force with ‘all the powers of law enforcement’ to protect a Church of four thousand. Should be fine.
Morno! Thursday? Okay. What happened while you were asleep? Well, NK threatened the US, Taiwan moved away from tradition and terrorism attacked the beautiful game.
Morning! What happened while you were asleep? We’re no closer to a Syria solution, Kendrick Lamar’s album art underwhelmed, and a terminal patient went out with a cigarette. And a wine!
Savour your morning whatever, because there was evil a-brewin’ last night, with Natasha Exelby stood down after her viral moment, an unbreakable witch’s curse, and stupidity manifesting itself in high art.
Wow. Monday again. What happened while you were asleep? Well, Egypt was wracked by two bombings, a newsreader revealed herself, and the E-in-C’s nan wanted to speak with you. You’re not in trouble.
Donald Trump bombing Syria has not just split the earth in Homs, but also his most dedicated voter base.
A spot of legal vandalism, an incorrect choice of aircraft and a budding buddy movie in the pipe…the week in #AusPol had many things, all of them stupid.
We all look as bad as we feel. So, what happened while you were asleep? UN discussions over Syria, disappointment in Perth and Malcolm was forced to make up with Trump.
Morning! What happened while you were asleep? Well, a gas attack in Syria “mysteriously” happened, scientists developed a theory to make saltwater drinkable and linesmen were announced as pushed to extinction.