This morning we discovered that football is not coming home. But, as a supporter of England, losing at the point of victory is all we know. It’s fine.
To prove that we’re truly in the underworld, England has advanced in the World Cup by virtue of a penalty shootout. What?
While you were asleep: The English Empire flies again, New South Wales wins, a heavily salted fifteen minutes of fame
Well, Monday. It’s a thing. Overnight, England dared to dream, New South Wales actually won and one notable out-of-touch Turk voted for another.
Mother’s on the phone asking us to move back home post Brexit, but until she sorts the office out, we’re avoiding her calls.
While you were asleep: Iceland enacts Brexit 2, QandA gets sensationalist, Japan cleans up with fresh new sound
Morning. What happened while you were asleep? England defeated by Iceland, Plibersek outguns Bond villain on QandA and Harmonica Vacuum sweeps Japan. You’re dreaming. This isn’t real. shhh.