Monday morning. Save me now. What happened while you were asleep? Duterte threatened to leave the UN, the Boomers missed out on a medal, and a movie remake rolled to an empty audience.
Friday. Yew! What happened while you were asleep? Well Ryan Lochte’s robbery got stranger, Trump’s veiny erection was sighted in the US, and a Sumatran orangutan went all Miles Davis.
Morn! What happened while you were asleep? Turnbull used diplomacy to secure Long Tan service, a chance for sporting revenge unfolds in Rio and QLD decided a fictional character was a ‘local’.
Morning all! What happened while you were asleep? Well, the funding for the Paralympics was spent on renovations, China confused us all, and the Depp/Heard divorce was finalised.
Friday! Woo! What happened while you were asleep? Peter Dutton refined his “hype” comments, Ausgrid won’t be sold to the Chinese, and the dab descended on Rio.
Morning! What happened while you were dozing? Well, Abbott restarted his Civil War, Suicide Squad broke records and we’re winning at Rio. Say what?
Morning! What happened while you were dozing? #AusWaits set to be turned in concert to raise awareness, Rio Games may be canned and the British are broke, but stoic.
Morning! What happened with you were asleep? Well, two gladiators fought it out on social media, Russia won’t follow Peter Allen and Croatia popped on its flares.