Morning all! What happened while you were asleep? Well, the funding for the Paralympics was spent on renovations, China confused us all, and the Depp/Heard divorce was finalised.
What happened while you were asleep? Jeremy Corbyn is avoiding knives thrown by Tony Blair, France cleave Irish hearts and the Fed Election. Beat it.
Morning, poppet. What happened while you were snoozing? The Euro opener gave us a Golazo, Harry Potter gave back his owls and the mining sector is set to give staff the heave-ho.
Lord. I woke up on the wrong side of everything this morning. What happened while you were sleeping? Sharapova got banned, and midgets got relevant.
What happened while you were asleep? The bloody world went crazy. Leo is playing a Muslim scholar, and the ‘Netflix and Chill’ was found to be a myth.
Morning! What happened while you were asleep? Well, Kanye held a secret show that no-one saw and the internet got cynical with Mal.
Gah. It’s early. What happened while you were asleep? The Swiss pinched pennies, Jack Black died for three hours on social media and the Federal Election got pointless.
Good Morning! What happened while you were snoring? (You were.) Well, Trump brought the world closer to peace, Queensland won Oranges and the Swiss got weird.
Top o’ the morning. What happened while you were asleep? Well, Barnaby Joyce threatened cannibalism and the US sued itself. Standard.
Good morning! What happened after the sandman visited you? Well, Turnbull and Alan Jones play nice and someone changed their name back to their other name.
Morning, sleepyhead. What have you missed? Well, Turnbull implicated in the Panama papers, and flying Colombian muggles. Standard.
Morning, all. Trump bends to the new Muslim Mayor of London (sort of), a ball chooses a new career, and an MP might be looking for a new one.
Good Morning! Wondering what you missed out on while you were asleep? Well, it’s a biggie. Congratulations Waleed. Malcolm, not so much.